Meditations on Belief

Today I finished reading My Bright Abyss: Meditation of a Modern Believer by Christian Wiman, and the sentiments of this book will be with me for a long time. Wiman paints beautiful indelible images with his words. He helps me to reflect on what my faith means to me and why it matters.  He also offers permission to understand and express faith in nontraditional terms. I believe in God as the spirit of love in the world, which not everyone feels comfortable with, so the sense I empathy that I felt in this book had real power.  Here are some of my favorite quotes:

"faith in God is, in the deepest sense, faith in life" (8)
"as long as we can live in this sacred space of receiving and releasing, and can learn to speak and be love's fluency, then the greater love that is God brings a continuous and enlarging air into our existence."(24)
"faith in life [is] some tender and terrible energy that is, for those with the eyes to see it, love." (36)
"Turning inward turned me outward too, to a world made more radiant by my ability to believe in it." (67)
"If two people meet and disagree fiercely about theological matters but agree, silently or otherwise, that God's love creates and sustains human love...then even out of what seems great friction there may emerge a peace that... enters and nourishes one's notion of, and relationship with, God." (71)
"Perhaps we are the weak ones, and God comes to us inwardly only because we have failed to perceive him in the crying child, in the nail driven cleanly into the wood, in the ordinary dawn sun that merely to see clearly is sufficient prayer and praise." (75)
"silence is the language of faith. Action - be it church or charity, politics or poetry - is the translation." (107)
"'Go forth and spread the gospel by every means possible,' said Saint Francis to his followers. 'If necessary, use words.'" (108)
"hope, as Vaclav Havel has said, is a condition of your should, not a response to the circumstances in which you find yourself." (166)

Service Learning

Today I focused at work on service learning - thinking about what we do and how we do it.  A few years ago, I wrote an article about how service learning is a form of activism for teachers. I wrote it as an attempt to reconcile my passion for activism with my love for the work that I do as a teacher. Upon reflection, I realized that the two were not mutually exclusive, but in fact were important complements to each other. I have never looked back.

Recognizing Teacher Activism

Continuing revelation invites us to remain open to looking at the same things in new ways.  I recently experienced the magic of continuing revelation when I heard a speech that sparked my realization that I am a teacher activist. The speech was by philanthropist and activist Larry Brilliant, who said that Dr. Martin Luther King’s message of the arc of the moral universe bending toward justice can only prove true if everyone who cares about social justice enthusiastically serves as an activist struggling on its behalf.  At first I felt guilty because I do not have any role labeled “activism” in my life, but then I thought back to my experience in the Friends Council on Education’s Institute for Engaging Leadership, the major lesson of which for me was that one’s impact is not dependent on one’s title.  In the program we engaged in action research projects in which each month we were expected to take an action step within our school and then reflect on that action and how it could lead to our next step. The confidence I gained from the power of these small yet continual shifts in the direction of progress is a spirit that I have since tried to instill in my students.  In a true Quaker sense of speaking truth to power, I encourage students to not accept the world as it is, but to continually assess how they might make it better. After Dr. Brilliant’s talk I came to realize that my activism doesn’t have to take the familiar form of protests and petitions, but as a teacher activist I am contributing to bending that arc toward justice by sowing the seeds of action in students.  My goal as a teacher activist is to help my students discover their own power and passion as activists.

My activism begins with my belief in the “real world” importance of the material I teach.  Within my first year of becoming a history teacher, I understood that history has a power to teach us about the present and help us to shape the future.  The turning point for me was over spring break of 2008 when Barack Obama delivered his “More Perfect Union” speech just as my class was about to study the American Revolution.  I was able to see the connection between the values that our country was founded on and the challenges we were facing at the time.  It was clear that the connections that Obama was making between the past and the present were important for students to be able to see and to create for themselves.  Since then my courses have consistently presented historical material in a context of engagement with the modern world.  I encourage students to introduce current events into our historical conversations and I regularly bring in articles or topics for students to discuss to aid in cementing those connections.  I use guiding questions for my courses that ask students to consider how societies are best able function in ways that reflect peace, justice and equality (and what leads societies away from those values), so that students feel empowered to use the history they study to analyze the world today.  One element of my activism is using the history I teach to help students understand the power of individuals in the context of the modern world.  

Once we have established that understanding, I try to usher my students toward recognizing their own role in changing the world for the better.  To do this, I ask students to work on real life applications of the academic material.  My first such endeavor was a club working against the Darfur genocide, whose creation I encouraged as a project for freshmen boys whose energy needed some redirection.  That program was as important for the ways that it had an impact on them as it was for the money they raised for Darfur.  When I taught Latin American History, my students’ final project was crafting their own version of public service announcements based on what they had learned over the course of the year.  This project offered students an opportunity for activism, and the videos ranged from one geared toward consumer education that included a group of my students holding up signs at a grocery for people not to buy bananas from companies known to use child labor, to one that offered facts about different Latin American presidential candidates for voter education, to one made for our school administrators about the importance of Latin American history.  Most recently, my activism has been in the form of service learning projects.  Last year my Global Studies classes, which had the theme of being the change one wishes to see in the world, had global service learning group projects, for which students helped organizations through volunteering after school or over weekends, and then writing a paper on what they learned about a region of the world through their service and how they could continue to have an impact.  Students were able to more deeply connect to the global regions they were studying while recognizing how they could make a difference.  This work has been an important element of my activism – helping students move from the theoretical to the practical.  

I have always seen teaching as my way of making a difference in the world.  What I now understand is that this is a form of activism.  I am not just teaching students about history, but I am seeking to empower my students to understand historical and societal patterns well enough to be comfortable visualizing their roles in working toward local and global solutions.  My activism involves introducing my students to the voice and capacity that they each have within themselves. I accomplish that by meeting my students where they are - answering to that of God in each of them and encouraging them to use their unique gifts in the service of others. And just as the Institute of Engaging Leadership at Friends Schools allowed me to be a pebble for change with ripple effects to my students, my hope is that my students will each become his or her own pebble, while cyclically pairing reflection and action.  What I have come to believe (and share with my students) is that we should not judge ourselves on how big our sphere of influence is, but rather on what we do with it.  We each have a calling; we need only be open to it and act on it.  As teachers, we are in a position to not only be actors for our own passions, but also to inspire passion in the next generation in the hope that they too will pay it forward.

Since claiming my place as a teacher activist, I have embraced a new role as Social Action Director at my school.  I am still doing the same work in my classroom, but I also get to support students all forms of their activism and support teachers in bringing service learning and social action into the classroom.  As I work with teachers, I can speak not only to my own experiences, but also introduce them to the community and tradition of teacher activism that I have discovered.  One friend invites representatives from organizations that work with Africa to her African history classes’ presentations on potential solutions to societal challenges faced in Africa (such as AIDS), and the organizations then dialogue with the students, helping them to understand the realities of the material they are engaging with in class.  Another friend has her English class work on resumes for people in homeless shelters trying to find employment as a part of her persuasive writing unit.  My friends in science have taken their students to study and work toward solutions in particularly polluted parts of our area, and a friend in math has encouraged her students to focus their statistics projects on areas of social concern in which their results can make a difference.  Teacher activism doesn’t even have to be subject specific – one friend has Social Action Mondays each week in her class, in which the class decides on a relevant social action step they can take that week (like not buying certain products or performing certain acts of kindness), which they then reflect on each Friday. I appreciate being able to hold up these examples for my colleagues, illustrating that teacher activism takes many forms.  My new role empowers me to help others to claim their place as teacher activists.  We can all take pride in our work of bending the moral arc of the universe toward justice in and out of our classrooms.

Solidarity

I get by with a little help from my friends. Literally. Whether it is folks working to get me my cell phone that I left somewhere (again today!), someone offering me a drink or shoulder when I'm stressed or traumatized, or a mentor or friend offering me whatever support or guidance I need to grow, I have become the person I am today because of a positivity brilliant network that surrounds me. That is why I feel called to support others whenever and however I can. To me, that is the beauty of the world: We are all stronger together. The moments when that sentiment shines most brightly are the moments when I feel most inspired. I was gifted by two strong examples from Facebook in the past day. First, one from the Civil Rights Movement:

and then one from our modern Civil Rights Movement (https://instagram.com/p/5nnD6PrBi_/?taken-by=workingfamilies).  Mother Teresa said that, "If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other." What I try to offer the world is an intentionality about remembering.

Sleep!

I did a guided meditation today to try to figure out why I keep forgetting things. While I had many deep thoughts about my work-life balance, my greatest takeaway was that I need sleep. I often imagine that I can get by with less sleep than science tells me, but it never works out. I need at least 7 hours for my brain to allow me to be my best self. And because I need to intellectualize things to believe them, I studied the science again to convince myself:
- National Geographic "Sleepless in America": http://www.aasmnet.org/articles.aspx?id=5233 and http://channel.nationalgeographic.com/sleepless-in-america/episodes/sleepless-in-america/

- Atlantic article on newest sleep recommendations: http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2015/02/how-much-sleep-is-normal/385075/

- Radiolab podcast on sleep: http://www.radiolab.org/story/91528-sleep/

Update 9/19: I got 12 hours of sleep last night. I did not know previously that that much sleep was even possible. It was catalyzed both by the senior retreat and by my body fighting off illness. What strikes me, though, is the extent to which I am in the driver's seat of my sleep. I have to give my sleep permission; I could have easily awoken first thing if I had let myself. The key is intentionality. I know that I feel better when I get sleep. And so I am going to figure out a way to get the sleep I need consistently. Last night is continued proof that I need it!

Sustainability

I've been doing yoga all week. I determined in Meeting for Worship last week that this week I would take a person retreat. I would (and have) read, write, work, and do yoga each day. I work so hard during the year that over the summer it is easy to get into an inertia that doesn't always feel good.  I go to lots of talks, but I do less of the internal stuff that I find sustaining. This week I changed that. I've never done so many days of yoga in a row, and each day I feel new parts of my spirit opening up.   I have often, though, been thinking about the connection between strength and peace, and about how they seem to come from the same source, which is the light within each of us. I've had a specific image of this in my head throughout the week, and tonight I decided to draw it:

Drawing is part of my sustaining practice as well. When I was in an educational leadership program a few years ago, we were all given a copy of a booklet called "Running on Empty" by Paul A. Lacey, which insists on the importance of finding sustainable practices that engage all parts of ourselves, especially through reading, writing, and drawing. He states that "The secret is to find the meaning diffused in our lives as fishes breathe water, drawing the life-giving oxygen from the medium in which they live and move and have their being." Yoga reminds me of that sentiment as well. All that my body offers me is a gift. All the ways in which I am privileged to engage the world are a gift. I am most grateful.

What's Going On?

It seems fitting that I finished Ta-Nehisi Coates' Between the World and Me on the same day that I finished The Wire. I have been slowly making my way through The Wire for about ten years now. I was early in the first season for years, until I decided last summer, probably spurred on by the beginning of what now seems like our modern civil rights movements.  Last summer I got through the middle of season 3, but then it just wasn't quite sustainable for me. However, this summer, especially after the tragedy surrounding Freddie Grey and Baltimore residents' powerful reaction to that, I was fully ready for the message of The Wire. What reminded me, though, was Between the World and Me. Ta-Nehisi Coates grew up in Baltimore and his accounting of race politics in America was at once affirming and hard to take in, so I needed something to help me process it. The Wire was the perfect complement to the book because it took these challenges that I've been trying to wrap my mind around for the past few years - the need for community policing, the challenges of the war on drugs, the lack of accountability, etc - and puts them in the context of characters to whom I feel intimately connected. While I appreciated the many direct parallels between the book and the show, I'm disappointed that these problems are just as bad, if not worse, today as they were ten years ago when The Wire began.  I was walking somewhere this week when the song "What's Going On?" came through my headphones. Like Coates' book, I found it both heartbreaking and inspirational. How tragic that almost 45 years later the mothers are still crying and the brothers dying and we all feel powerless to stop it. However, my approach seems to be similar to Garvey's - I am also a firm believe in the fact that "only love can conquer hate." I even have a t-shirt that says it! Each of us who wants to stand on the side of love must do so dragging everyone that we can along with us. As Coates' agrees, individuals cannot do it alone - we need a sea change.

Find the Good: Bookstores for a Cause

One of the joys of my summer has been discovering bookstores for good.  First, I was introduced to the Housing Works bookstore in New York (http://www.housingworks.org/bookstore).  Their website says: "We are a nonprofit bookstore, cafe, and event space in downtown NYC. All proceeds from every show you attend and everything you buy, down to a record and a PBR, go directly to our mission of fighting AIDS and homelessness." At Housing Works I found a gem of a book called Find the Good: Unexpected Life Lessons from a Small-Town Obituary Writer (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/04/19/10-unexpected-life-lessons-heather-lende_n_7089702.html). It adds a bit of sunshine to each of my days since I've been reading it. 

I also recently stumbled across the Books for America (http://www.booksforamerica.org) used bookstore in Dupont Circle. Their website says: "Is it just a used book store?  Hardly.  This store (or Center for Reading & Literacy as we also like to call it) is the headquarters of our nonprofit organization; it is an outreach tool to introduce us to thousands of additional people in the local community; and it is a valuable fundraising tool which provides nearly 100% of our financial support.  And, best of all, because we price the books almost ridiculously low, everyone can afford to buy the latest books!" To that I can attest. I bought books their that I have wanted for years, but the price of $4 or less for each of them made my decision to buy easy.  

There is nothing better than combining the pleasure of buying books with the warmth of supporting a good cause!

"It always seems impossible until its done." - Nelson Mandela

Nelson Mandela's statement has proven true time and time again.  Last night I went to an event at which women who had gone on a peace march across the demilitarized zone from North to South Korea spoke about how the recent peace with Cuba and Iran supports hope in a peace to come between the US and North Korea. Today I went to a talk by the Nigerian President Muhammadu Buhari and he too talked about how he was inspired by his witnessing the 'impossible' fall of the Soviet Union. I found a great book last week called The Impossible Will Take a Little While: A Citizen's Guide to Hope in a Time of Fear and I can't wait to read it's reflection on this topic. I love anything that keeps my optimism alive!

Work is Love Made Visible

Sometimes in the summer it is hard to remember that the work that we teachers do, which goes unpaid in these months, comes from the same inner source of love as our work during the year. I was reminded of that in yoga class today as the teacher was discussing the light within us and asking us to reflect on how we extend that light outward. I have also been pushed toward this reflection from the book My Bright Abyss: Meditations of a Modern Believer by Christian Wiman, which encourages full integration of our spiritual and practical selves. My touchstone for this comes from the poem "On Work" by Kahlil Gibran:

On Work
 Kahlil Gibran

You work that you may keep pace with the earth and the soul of the earth.
For to be idle is to become a stranger unto the seasons, 
and to step out of life's procession, that marches in majesty and proud submission towards the infinite.

When you work you are a flute through whose heart the whispering of the hours turns to music.
Which of you would be a reed, dumb and silent, when all else sings together in unison?

Always you have been told that work is a curse and labour a misfortune.
But I say to you that when you work you fulfil a part of earth's furthest dream, assigned to you when that dream was born,
And in keeping yourself with labour you are in truth loving life,
And to love life through labour is to be intimate with life's inmost secret.

But if you in your pain call birth an affliction and the support of the flesh a curse written upon your brow, then I answer that naught but the sweat of your brow shall wash away that which is written.

You have been told also that life is darkness, and in your weariness you echo what was said by the weary.
And I say that life is indeed darkness save when there is urge,
And all urge is blind save when there is knowledge,
And all knowledge is vain save when there is work,
And all work is empty save when there is love;
And when you work with love you bind yourself to yourself, and to one another, and to God.

And what is it to work with love?
It is to weave the cloth with threads drawn from your heart, 
even as if your beloved were to wear that cloth.
It is to build a house with affection, 
even as if your beloved were to dwell in that house.
It is to sow seeds with tenderness and reap the harvest with joy, 
even as if your beloved were to eat the fruit.
It is to charge all things you fashion with a breath of your own spirit,
And to know that all the blessed dead 
are standing about you and watching.

Often have I heard you say, as if speaking in sleep, "He who works in marble, and finds the shape of his own soul in the stone, is nobler than he who ploughs the soil.
And he who seizes the rainbow to lay it on a cloth in the likeness of man, is more than he who makes the sandals for our feet."
But I say, not in sleep but in the overwakefulness of noontide, that the wind speaks not more sweetly to the giant oaks than to the least of all the blades of grass;
And he alone is great who turns the voice of the wind into a song made sweeter by his own loving.

Work is love made visible.
And if you cannot work with love but only with distaste, it is better that you should leave your work and sit at the gate of the temple and take alms of those who work with joy.
For if you bake bread with indifference, you bake a bitter bread that feeds but half man's hunger.
And if you grudge the crushing of the grapes, your grudge distils a poison in the wine.
And if you sing though as angels, and love not the singing, you muffle man's ears to the voices of the day and the voices of the night.

Roots and Branches

Yesterday in Meeting for Business we talked about how branches and roots need each other to be healthy, and that is also the case for faith and action (in the form of service). A quote from Baltimore Yearly Meeting was shared: "As our roots grow deeper into the ground, finding a spiritual source, our limbs and branches grow too, reaching out to each other and the world, bearing fruit.  If our roots weaken, our harvest diminishes.  If our branches weaken, so do our roots. " It led to a great reflection in Meeting for Worship about how I would define my roots, my branches, and the connection between them. What a wonderful exercise toward living a purpose filled and well directed life.

From Rwanda with Love

I spent two weeks in Rwanda and my greatest takeaway was an affirmation that the worst of times can bring out the best in humanity. The people of Rwanda, faced with a broken world, understood that they had to come together to build a future; it was the only way and they have embraced that responsibility with an open heart. To counteract the hate that tore their society apart, Rwandans now love with a rare intensity. And they think about how to share their gifts to the benefit of their entire communities - from conservation to education to entrepreneurship. Over and over again we heard about how Rwanda's greatest resource was its people - ALL of its people. And they are truly stronger together. What a beautiful model for those of us in the United States.