Habits

My writing class (The Habit of Writing) introduced me to the study of habits. Habits provide a foundation in our lives (supposedly 40% of our day is made up of habit), so it's proven worthwhile to study mine. Gretchen Rubin argues in Better than Before that it is always beneficial to know oneself well enough to be able to guide the formation and breaking of habits. She even has a quiz to help: https://gretchenrubin.com/happiness_project/2015/01/ta-da-the-launch-of-my-quiz-on-the-four-tendencies-learn-about-yourself. The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg also helps to illuminate how to take control of habits.

For me for years the habit that I most recognize that I keep is my morning routine. It's a bit of continuing revelation about what I need in any given day/week/month/year, but taking time to journal and set an intention is something that I read about, tried, found helpful, so kept doing. This fall I incorporated brushing my teeth with my left hand (I read it's good for your brain) and flossing (my dentist friend insisted) to my evening routine. Building a new routine did seem to go according to Rubin's advice. At first I tried flossing in the morning, but I never leave myself enough time in the morning, so it very often got moved to the evening. I ultimately decided that evening would be the right time when I'm not in such a rush. Paying attention to those kinds of patterns is at the center of what I have learned about keeping habits.

Interestingly, Eddie Glaude writes in Democracy in Black about how important it is for us to UNLEARN racial habits. Even with that, self-awareness is key!

When We Fight We Win

Not only is that the title of one of my new favorite books, it is also the sentiment behind the quotation collections from two powerful activists, Angela Davis and DeRay Mckesson, both of which showed up on my Facebook feed tonight. They both prove that Black Lives Matter is more movement than hashtag.

Books I read in 2015 and 2014

I was thinking this week about how much I read. Someone was telling me that her perception was that I read a lot, and I was telling her about how I buy many more books than I finish. One friend once called me a reading giraffe (nibble on the high bits) as opposed to his reading blue whale (taking in everything he can get). I got curious and I tracked all the books that I could think of that I read in 2015, and then I tried to go further back to 2014. Here's what I came up with:

2015: At the time, I was not thinking that there was a theme, but I read quite a few books on race, systematic inequality, and survival.
The Burial at Thebes (2004) - Seamus Heaney's take on Antigone. She is the ultimate female resister!

Citizen (2014) by Claudia Rankine. The challenges of race, specifically blackness, in America told in poetic form.

Between the World and Me (2015) by Ta-Nehesi Coates. Blackness, particularly black maleness, shared intimately.

March Book One (2013) and Book Two (2015) - John Lewis tells the story of his leadership in the Civil Rights Movement in graphic form.

Just Mercy (2015) by Bryan Stevenson changed my life. It made it clear to me that real life superheroes exist. That we can impact change.

Yes Please (2014) helped me to fall in love with Amy Poehler. It is like a book-length "Stars - they're just like us!"

Handmaid's Tale (1985) by Margaret Atwood was the recommendation of the Dystopian Literature teacher. It's a fascinating look on how misogyny can destroy us.

In the Body of the World (2014) by Eve Ensler compares the struggles of ovarian cancer to that women suffer in the Congo. It reflects on the strength it takes it be a survivor.

Hope (2015) by Cleveland kidnapping victims Amanda Berry and Gina DeJesus (and writers Mary Jordan and Kevin Sullivan) is another reminder of how much we can survive with determination.

Shadow Children (2014) by Louise Ann Babirak was recommended to me by one of my students. It is young adult fiction that tells the story of domestic human trafficking of children.

The Price of Inequality (2013) by Joseph Stiglitz was my summer reading book for work. I learned a lot about how our economy is set up to benefit those on top.

Find the Good (2015) by Heather Lende is a collection of life lessons collected by an obituary written. They are bright reminders of the joys that life holds.

Breath, Boom (2002) by Kia Corthron is a play I saw in college about a woman's life growing in a gang. It addresses how hard it is to escape gang life. It is a cycle and a curse.

Red Rising (2014) by Pierce Brown is both dystopian (about caste oppression) and about resistance, a winning combination.

Mobilizing Hope (2009) by Adam Taylor is about how our faith can and should inspire our activism.

My Bright Abyss (2014) by Christian Wiman is a reflection on how faith can shape how we engage with the world and how our experiences in the world shape our faith.

2014: My unofficial theme for 2014 was about Israel/Palestine and more broadly about internal and external peace. One journal entry from August said "The more I read, the more clear it is that nothing happens in a vacuum - it is important to understand the full context of anything one dives into. Certainly this is true of service in all forms - both local and global."

Love Your Enemies (2013) by Sharon Salzberg - I went to the book talk for this. It forces important reflection on how we can be more generous with ourselves and others.

The Short and Tragic Life of Robert Peace (2014) by Jeffrey Hobbs is an important but hard read about how hard it is to escape environments of drugs and poverty.

Help, Thanks, Wow (2012) by Anne Lamott was my summer read for work and is about appreciating God all around us.

Finding Me (2014) by Michelle Knight and Michelle Burford is about Michelle Knights methods for keeping herself going during her years in captivity.

Give Peace a Chance (2013) by David and Eric Hamburg was a book I picked up at Bethesda Friends Meeting. It had a very broad but thorough analysis of what it takes to craft and maintain peace globally.

Dawn (1961) by Elie Wiesel, which I also borrowed from Bethesda Friends Meeting, is a study on how violence, even out of desperation, kills both the victim and the perpetrator.

Khirbet Khizeh (1949) by S. Kizhar is very similar to Dawn. It is about the clearing out of Palestinians in Israel in 1948 from the perspective of desperate Israeli soldiers.

My Promised Land (2014) by Ari Shavit humanizes the creation and tensions of Israel. It speaks to the pain and desperation that have led to violence over the year without excusing it. After I read all three of these books I journaled, "Between Dawn, Khirbet Khizeh, and My Promised Land, the similarities between the Jewish experience and the Palestinian experience is haunting. It should be the grounds for powerful empathy."

The Hour of Sunlight (2011) by Sami al Jundi and Jen Marlowe tells the story of al Jundi's journey from a would-be terrorist to a peacebuilder in Palestine. I journaled, "Any experience can bring light or darkness - we need to be conscientious about the choices we're making, the messages we're sending, and the impact we're spreading. Keep hope alive! Sometimes 2% is all we need!"

On My Own Two Feet (2013) by Manisha Thakor and Sharon Kedar - I read this to try to feel in control of my finances. It's core lesson is to save money as early as possible.

Saying no

I have a hard time saying no to opportunities. I love to be of use, to shine my Light. I thrive on an overcommitment that makes me feel my life has value. I get a buzz from engagement.

On the other hand, that same overcommitment loses me sleep. It makes me lose track of my agenda, my to-do list. It sometimes makes me feel stress in a damaging way.

I have gotten better at saying no. I have embraced the fact that there is a balance. I still do more activities than would be reasonable, but I say no now when I'm not sure that an opportunity is going to lead me to grow or allow me to give back in a way that is meaningful to me.

It's a start. My next step is that once I say no and people push back, I often relent. I would love to feel more deeply grounded in my "nos." But they are new - this part of me needs to grow its own roots.

Perfect Retreat

This weekend is like a retreat because I'm snowed in. Last weekend was actually a retreat that I crafted with my critical friends group. Thankfully last weekend I was reflective about what goes into an effective retreat and I am being intentional about engaging in the same ways this weekend. These are the elements that I think are most important:

-Time for reading and reflecting: reflecting is probably the single most important element of a retreat. Reading often helps me with my reflection

- Connection: for me creating deeper bonds to other is one of the greatest benefits of putting away my to-do lists

- Challenges my thinking: hopefully there are some new ideas that emerge from the time away from the day-to-day

- Fun: a retreat cannot be successful unless it helps to restore the wells of joy within me.

A poem from a well grounded former self (2010)

All I can do is my best
again and again and again
Sometimes it feels powerful beyond measure
Sometimes hopelessly insignificant or misguided
but it is mine
my creation
made of m love, my strength, my intellect
the pieces of me.
And my best
and I
need only be nurtured.

The Power of Art

I've recently been inspired to think about the importance of art in social movements. 

I was amazed when I walked down the hallway at work recently and saw a middle school exhibit dedicated to peace. Sixth graders made peace commitments on handprints that were added together into a peace sign, seventh graders made peace mandalas, and eighth graders did portraits of peacebuilders. What a powerful method for students to integrate a social understanding into their coursework! 

More subtly, the exhibit at the Renwick right now features nature and recycled materials. While it does not explicitly ask its viewers to be better stewards of the earth, that is certainly what it inspires.

I loved hearing the poetry of The Drawbridge Collective. They engaged with issues of identity, family and reflection in a context that was both intimately local and powerfully global. I wanted to carry their words with me into the world. I felt stronger for having had them wash over me.

I also recently went to a book talk for When We Fight We Win, a book that is filled with activist art from Agitarte. It tracks the art that has propelled various movements of the 21st century. 

It's easy to feel as though I'm not good at creating or appreciating art, and then sometimes the universe reminds me that art is to be felt. Creating art is moving the internal to the external. It comes from and speaks to neither our head nor heart alone, but our Light.

The day of the mass and the mess

Today I did too things that were outside of my comfort zone and from which I believe I grew.

The first is that I went to an optional mass for the first time. It was a wonderful spiritual experience. I was surprised by how similar it felt to Quaker Meeting for Worship. There was time to share our interpretations of the gospel and time to share intentions. I was so glad that I went, and I think I may go again in the future as a way to deepen my spirituality mid-week.

Then I went to yoga in clothes that were stinky from my last yoga class because I ran out of time to do laundry. I was terribly embarrassed about it at first, but then I thought there was probably a good life lesson in it about showing up even when we can't be our best selves. And it sure inspired me to do laundry tonight!

Ever grateful.

"Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can't Lose" or Obama's Last State of the Union

Just like he did when he was running for office, and then when he won, President Obama reminds me that there is a reason to be proud to be American, to be proud of America. Th end was among my favorite statements ever from him. It represents the best of his hope, his craftsmanship, and his commitment to helping all of us to remember our best selves:

"Our brand of democracy is hard. But I can promise that a year from now, when I no longer hold this office, I’ll be right there with you as a citizen — inspired by those voices of fairness and vision, of grit and good humor and kindness that have helped America travel so far. Voices that help us see ourselves not first and foremost as black or white or Asian or Latino, not as gay or straight, immigrant or native born; not as Democrats or Republicans, but as Americans first, bound by a common creed. Voices Dr. King believed would have the final word — voices of unarmed truth and unconditional love.

They’re out there, those voices. They don’t get a lot of attention, nor do they seek it, but they are busy doing the work this country needs doing.

I see them everywhere I travel in this incredible country of ours. I see you. I know you’re there.

You’re the reason why I have such incredible confidence in our future. Because I see your quiet, sturdy citizenship all the time.

I see it in the worker on the assembly line who clocked extra shifts to keep his company open, and the boss who pays him higher wages to keep him on board.

I see it in the Dreamer who stays up late to finish her science project, and the teacher who comes in early because he knows she might someday cure a disease.

I see it in the American who served his time, and dreams of starting over — and the business owner who gives him that second chance. The protester determined to prove that justice matters, and the young cop walking the beat, treating everybody with respect, doing the brave, quiet work of keeping us safe.

I see it in the soldier who gives almost everything to save his brothers, the nurse who tends to him ’til he can run a marathon, and the community that lines up to cheer him on.

It’s the son who finds the courage to come out as who he is, and the father whose love for that son overrides everything he’s been taught.

I see it in the elderly woman who will wait in line to cast her vote as long as she has to; the new citizen who casts his for the first time; the volunteers at the polls who believe every vote should count, because each of them in different ways know how much that precious right is worth.

That’s the America I know. That’s the country we love. Clear-eyed. Big-hearted. Optimistic that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word. That’s what makes me so hopeful about our future. Because of you. I believe in you. That’s why I stand here confident that the State of our Union is strong."

Full text here.

Third Place

I recently learned the term "third place." It is described on Tryst's website as "a place that helps define ourselves and the community." 

Over Thanksgiving break, in Brooklyn, I experienced the third place in its authentic form.  It is real. The show Cheers reflects the lived experience of some of my friends. How can we all work to craft these spaces?

The closest I have come is Busboys and Poets. Busboys has given me the opportunity to have conversations that I would not have otherwise been able to be a part of. I have heard from experts on Gaza, Black Lives Matter, Cuba, and activism, as well as authors, musicians, poets and more. In addition to the featured speaker, there are also community conversations - it is the closest I have to a town hall. The best part - almost all of it is free! And I can work there. There are outlets and low pressure. It genuinely feels like a place that is meant to be more experience than commerce. I am so grateful that the same is true for The Coupe. When I have a lot of work to do outside of my work hours, a "third place" that is not home or school makes a big difference. The fact that my homes away from home have delicious food and drink is a bonus! 

I also have a "Politics and Prose is my happy place" card up on my refrigerator. They should be paying me for that expression because I've been saying it for years. Although its limited seating and wifi have made it harder to work there, the book talks I attend and the friendly staff make it a place that I go to when I just want to feel my blood pressure drop and my joy rise. And the bonus with them is that their iced mocha will forever be a taste of heaven for me.

What I've Learned from Being a Student

First semester of this year, I had the opportunity to sit in on some of my colleagues' classes. I have been to Short Stories, Dystopian Literature, Leaders of Faith, and Economics. I've been very impressed with how seamlessly a student could apply what they learn in one class to their others. There are a lot of aspects of the curriculum that build on each other. We are all teaching critical thinking that students can use not only in their academics, but also in life. And Social Action helps to prove that to them even before they have to leave the SR bubble. But so do other service-oriented activities that the students do. I got to experience two popular student-directed programs last month - preparing and serving food at Shepherd's Table and wrapping presents with Best Buddies. Both optional activities were full of such genuine joy. I'm starting to understand why our program is so effective in shaping young women.

Goals for 2016 (and a look back)

Today in Meeting for Worship I settled on my goals for 2016:
- Balance care for the world and care for myself.
- Act with intention and own my actions.
- Speak with strength and with love.
- Increase the time I offer my "Five to Stay Alive" (prayer, sleep, reading, writing, fitness).

They are not too far off from my Goals for 2015:
-  Make time for the books and exercise that I find sustaining
-  Feel in control of my apartment and my finances
-  Don't let my rose-colored glasses become blinders; speak with intention.
-  Let love be the driver for all I do

Goals for 2014:
- Stand boldly in and for love and integrity
- All aspects of my life reflect my values
- Consider how to make money beyond my job
- Live responsibly in every sense
- Make social justice tangible at school
- Reflect daily on my lesson plans
- Do a better job of being organized at home and on my computer

Goals for 2013:
- Make my love for myself, my community, and the world demonstrable at all times.
- Make a good health plan and stick to it.
- Volunteer with young children.
- Stay up-to-date on world events (and local news) and be involved when and how I can.
- Read for pleasure.

Goals for 2012:
- Focus on inspiration and positivity in my teaching
- Walk or run for at least a mile a day
- Live fully in joy and love
- Bring my spirituality to all I do
- Offer love and attention to my mind and body
- Set concrete and balanced daily goals
- Understand that I control my life and it does not control me

2011: "This is my year of growing up. I will be graduating and I need to think about what that means. I will be approaching life choices about work, health, love. It is time to step up to the table in all resects."

Goals for 2010:
1. Chill
2. Find balance
3. Be an excellent student
4. Be an excellent teacher
5. Commit to growth
6. Sleep
7. Have fun!
8. Prioritize my health
9. Build in time for daily reflection
10. Maintain  spaces that keep me sane.