Wisdom from Henri Nouwen's Life of the Beloved

Since this book connected so deeply with my own sense of spirituality,  thought it was worth pulling out the lines that most struck me as I read.

• "Isn't that what friendship is all about: giving to each other the gift of our belovedness?" (30)
• "Whether I am inflated or deflated, I lose touch with my truth and distort my vision of reality." (33)
• The voice of insecurity in our head says, "Prove that you are worth something; do something relevant, spectacular, or powerful, and then you will earn the love you so desire." (34)
• The work of building the Beloved Community: "My parents, friends, teachers, students, and the many strangers who crossed my path have all sounded that voice [that calls me Beloved] in different tones. I have been cared for by many people with much tenderness and gentleness. I have been taught and instructed with much patience and perseverance. I have been encouraged to keep going when I was ready to give up and was stimulated to try again when I failed." (34-35)
• "I hear at my center words that say: 'I have called you by name, from the very beginning. You are mine and I am yours.' . . . We are one" (36-37)
• "Every time you listen with great attentiveness to the voice that calls you the Beloved, you will discover within yourself a desire to hear that voice longer and more deeply." (37) This reminds me of my goal for 2019!
• "I beg you, do not surrender the word 'chosen' to the world. Dar to claim it as your own, even when it is constantly misunderstood. You must hold on to the truth that you are the chosen one. That truth is the bedrock on which you can build a life as the Beloved." (56) I think of this as "Light."
• "When we keep claiming the light, we will find ourselves becoming more and more radiant." (62)
• "Gratitude begets gratitude, just as love begets love." (62)
• "It is impossible to compete for God's love." (64)
• "We also need an ongoing blessing that allows us to hear in an ever-new way that we belong to a loving God who will never leave us alone, but will remind us always that we are guided by love on every step of our lives." (72) I felt this in 2018!
• "if you develop the discipline of spending one half-hour a day listening to the voice of love, you will gradually discover that something is happening of which you were not even conscious." (77)
• "One good way to listen is to listen with a sacred text." (78)
• "most of all the blessings that come to us through words of gratitude, encouragement, affection, and love. These many blessings do not have to be invented. They are there, surrounding us on all sides." (81)
• "Before concluding these thoughts about our being blessed, I must tell you that claiming your own blessedness always leads to a deep desire to bless others. The characteristic of the blessed ones is that, wherever they go, they always speak words of blessing. It is remarkable how easy it is to bless others, to speak good things to and about them, to call forth their beauty and truth, when you yourself are in touch with your own blessedness. The blessed one always blesses. And people want to be blessed!" (82) This one spoke to me so deeply that I almost shared it with my class. 
• "Here joy and sorrow are no longer each other's opposites, but have become two sides of the same desire to grow to the fullness of the Beloved." (99)
• "True joy, happiness, and inner peace come from the giving of ourselves to others." (109)
• "It is the gift of our own life that shines through all we do." (113)
• "Imagine that, in the center of your heart, you trust that your smiles and handshakes, your embraces and your kisses are only the early signs of a worldwide community of love and peace!" (123)
• "we are called to live our lives with a deep inner joy and peace." (129)
• "The Spirit of God, the Spirit that calls us the Beloved, is the Spirit that unites and makes whole. There is no clearer way to discern the presence of God's Spirit than to identify the moments of unification, healing, restoration, and reconciliation." (135) I annotated this passage with "This is what I believe."
  

POCC 2018

I always love the National Association of Independent Schools People of Color Conference, and this year was one of my favorites. It was exactly what I needed that week because:

• It was incredibly affirming. Between presenting twice, hosting a CSEE dinner, and being interviewed on film by NAIS, I felt like people appreciated what I had to offer.

• There was a message of accepting that we are enough as we are, not worrying about anyone who doesn't see our light, and pushing for institutions to be Beloved Communities.
• There was a recognition of how strong we are -- people of color broadly and people of color in independent schools specifically.
• We were reminded of the power of vulnerability. 

• I went to some great sessions
• Real Talk Done Right: Engaging Our School Communities in Difficult Conversations
• Importance of holding the space for affinity groups -- meet regularly
• Here and Now: Using Current Events to Cultivate the Next Generation of Changemakers
• Mantra at Park Day School is "If you see a problem, do something about it."
• Teachers encourage students to make lists of possible solutions
• Highlight exemplars

I can't wait to vote for Kamala Harris

I saw Kamala Harris tonight and mark my words -- she will be my president.

She is funny and passionate and fierce. She does not settle. She reminds me of President Obama in all the best ways. I can't wait to read her new book and then to support her campaign.

Here were some of my highlights:

• She calls herself a "joyful warrior"
• She focuses on the importance of being in the room where it happens
• She quotes James Baldwin as her inspiration for her belief that "the time is always now"
• "People say 'it's going to be difficult' as though we're afraid of hard work."
• "The strongest politics are coalition politics"
• She said her mother, as she died, "knew her fighting spirit was alive and well inside of me."
• "Hold on to your friends. None of us achieves what we do without them."

Where I saw God in the first week of 2019

• I have a friend I love who was in great pain. I tried to make sure they got the care they needed. It reminded me of the Servant Song.
• I had a brief but powerful retreat at Bethesda Friends Meeting. We had to consider what our heart's deepest desire was and what we needed to let go of to achieve it. I posed my desire as a query: How can I serve as an instrument of God's love? And what do I need to give up in order to achieve it? Fear. Fear that leads to judgment and jealousy and people pleasing.
• I got much joy from books and tv (especially Black Mirror Schitt's Creek) and movies (especially 6 Balloons) and time spent with friends
• I went to a 47 Soul concert and was all in. I loved the music itself and its message.
• For the first time ever I wrote thank you emails to everyone who gave me anything, including a card, for the holiday season. It was a wonderful opportunity to share appreciation for all sorts of people in my life and it was delightful to hear back from many. 
• I'm grateful for the conversation I had on January 1 about what I am looking forward to in 2019 that led to my developing my goal for the year of slowing down and creating more space for my spiritual life. I quit two committees that same day.

Wisdom from Almost Everything: Notes on Hope by Anne Lamott

• "When we discovered who we truly are, through love or a teacher, new life began" (41)
• "Help is the sunny side of control." (45)
• "Joy is a habit." (56)
• "Sharing is what makes us happy" (65)
• "When we hate, we can't operate from our real selves, which is our strength." (75-6)
• "Something that helps is to look at adversaries as people who are helping you do a kind of emotional weight training . . . [they are] grace-builders" (76)
• "The right teacher could work miracles." (79)
• "Is surprised gratitude the same as love? I don't know. But I think it can be where love begins." (81)
• "I am part of a great We" (82)
• "So as a radical act we give up the hate and the hunch the best we can." (84)
• "gratitude is a very bright light" (116)
• "Advice God always gives me if I think to ask: Go do some anonymous thing for lonely people, give a few bucks to every poor person you see, return phone calls. Get out of yourself and become a person for others, while simultaneously practicing radical self-care: maybe have a bite to eat, check in with the sky twice, buy some cute socks, take a nap." (131)
• "There is the wonder of the ethereal, the quantum and at the same time the umbilical. Don't call it God if that lessens it for you. Call it Ed. Call it Shalom. The Quakers, who are not as awful as most other Christians, call it the light." 😂 (132)
• "God is often in solitude and quiet, through the still, small voice - in the breeze, not the the thunder." (137)
• "When I pray, I have more good days." (139)
• "expectations are resentments under construction." (168)
• "the bigger, more real, and friendlier the world inside me becomes, the safer I feel in the outside world. As above, so below; as inside, so before us." (173)
• "'Why' is rarely a useful question in the hope business." (183)

Brand New Day

Today was the first day of our new Congress that is more representative than ever of the demographics of our country (https://www.cnn.com/2019/01/03/politics/new-congress-history-women-diversity/index.html). I was at a program tonight that stressed just how significant this moment is not just because of the backgrounds of these new politicians, but also their backbones. Even before being sworn in, these leaders have taken stands about their orientation and introduction to Congress that have never been taken before. They give me hope.

2019 Goal

In 2019, I am setting a single goal -- let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me. I will aim to cultivate internal peace grounded in Spirit and external peace grounded in justice.


As I looked at my highlights of 2018, they were many, and yet very few had to do with my spirituality, with my creating the necessary space to connect with the divine. Toward the end of the year there was one day that I went home early from work to rest because I was so mentally and physically exhausted. So I decided that in 2019 I need to create more space for my interior life. I need to slow down. I was telling that to a friend this morning and when she then asked me what my week looked like and I told her about my weekend full of meetings, I realized that I need fewer committees. By the end of the day I had dropped off of two committees with monthly meetings of 2.5 hours each. Here's to a year of focusing on what is most important to me and letting go of external expectations!