Prayer for pain, grace, hope

A few years ago I encountered both Anne Lamott's book Help, Thanks, Wow: The Three Essential Prayers and Mary Oliver's poem "Praying":

“It doesn’t have to be
the blue iris, it could be
weeds in a vacant lot, or a few
small stones; just
pay attention, then patch

a few words together and don’t try
to make them elaborate, this isn’t
a contest but the doorway

into thanks, and a silence in which
another voice may speak.”

Both pushed me to reframe the way that I think about prayer. Because I am Quaker, I had never thought of myself as praying. I thought about holding people in the Light and I thought about connecting with that of God within me, but I never considered any of that prayer. Anne Lamott and Mary Oliver helped me to get to a place in which I engage more directly and intentionally with a higher power. It gives me another tool in my spiritual toolbox.

This spring I developed a prayer model for myself that builds off of that foundation. There is tragedy on the news day after day, but there are also myriad sources of inspiration. When I begin to feel weighed down by a current event, I craft a prayer that names the pain, the grace I have found in the face of the pain, and the hope I have for the future. I have found meaningful spiritual grounding in this framework. It has become a lens through which I can consider the world. It helps me to feel agency.

Yesterday I read an article, "How to Stay Sane if Trump is Driving You Insane: Advice From a Therapist" by Robin Chancer, which offers advice that mirrors my practice. In order to process what is happening in the world, it is important to acknowledge how challenging current events can be to learn about, while also maintaining gratitude and faith. Neither optimism nor pessimism are particularly useful, but mindfulness is key. My pain, grace, hope prayers allow me to move beyond the feelings that I have about the world outside and focus instead on all that I have to share with the world. When challenges erupt around me, I have a place of inner peace that I have trained my mind to find. It is not a backing down, but rather a return to my source of strength during hard times. 

We March Because We Care

After a slow March of marching (thank you Women's Day for keeping our momentum alive), April is back strong with the Tax March, March for Science, and the People's Climate March.

I took my father to New York's Tax March. It was his first march in two decades and he was blown away by the creativity of the signs. I really do think that we have evolved out of both frequency of marches and a desire to keep ourselves inspired.

I loved the March for Science because it was pouring rain and still thousands of people came out. It was a demonstration of our perseverance.

The People's Climate March was the most reminiscent of the Women's March. There were people EVERYWHERE (though less densely packed).

Today marks one hundred days of resistance, persistence, and coexistence.

Life Lessons from Trivia

I've never been any good at trivia, but I've learned along the way that if I feel certain about something I regret it when I don't speak up about my certainty. Tonight I felt certain about something, spoke up, was wrong, and our team fell short by exactly the half point that I insisted I was right about. I couldn't move on until I figured out what life lesson I can learn from that. I've decided that it's that even when I'm sure I'm right, it's still critically important to keep an open mind. Thankfully, the stakes were not too high this time around!

Just what I needed

I just had a five day break at the exact moment I needed it the most. As much as I loved my Sicily trip, not having had a true break over spring break was making me start to feel like I had nothing more to give. On both the first and last days of the break, I did necessary work (both professional and my taxes!), but also had great visits with friends. In the middle three days, I had adventures with my family. And I slept well every night, I went to Meeting for Worship, I read meaningfully, and I got a pedicure. It was such a great reminder of what quality self-care feels like. I don't think I'll have that many days off again until July, but I can certainly be intentional about creating a balanced life.

We can do things!

For a long time, I had a feeling that my best-fit role was supporting meaningful projects that made a difference. Since the election, I have been stepping up to help lead meaningful projects.

I have organized a group of black women focused on social justice, especially in the field of education, and we meet to support each other in our social justice endeavors. I like to call the group Sisters in the Struggle.

I organized a community forum for Inauguration week to discuss peace and justice. We defined the terms for ourselves and then considered how to cultivate them in our community.

I helped take a lead in getting my Meeting to approve a Minute designating us as a sanctuary congregation and in getting the school board I am on to craft and approve a Minute reaffirming our values in these politically charged times.

There is so much more to do, but it's good to remember how capable we are all to act.

Can't do it all!

The story of my life is that I always feel like I can and should be doing more. That is all the more true in this political environment. Tonight I am appreciating that although I am all too human in my limitations, I do think that if ever I am asked by future generation about what I did in these fraught times, I will at least be able to honestly say that my actions reflected my values.

Theme Weekend

I like to say that I am a Sacred Heart Quaker. The connection between my personal and professional life was very clear this weekend when I had justice networking days for both. That feeling of alignment is extremely affirming. It's also a great reminder that we shouldn't get distracted by false divisions. All people who are building the Beloved Community should be answering the Light in each other.