How to Raise an Adult

How to Raise an Adult  by Julie Lythcott-Haims had some great food for thought for schools, including:

"Yes we dream of our selves, of what we will become . . . but it's the environment that tells us what is possible." (38)

"Has sidling right up alongside our kid and making them the center of our world become a measure of how much we love them? If so, is it our love we're wearing on our sleeve, or our neediness?" (54)

"Schools that do not provide strong, clear boundaries between pedagogy and parents can suffer serious consequences (which means, of course, that student learning suffers)." (63)

"when the teachable moments go untaught, what our kids get in exchange is the moral or ethical shortcomings that come from getting away with stuff." (65)

Overparenting [or overadvising] happens "when our parenting behavior is motivated by our own ego." (94)

Authoritative parenting [or teaching/school leadership] is "demanding and responsive. These parents set high standards, expectations, and limits, which they uphold with consequences. They are also emotionally warm, and responsive to their child's emotional needs. They reason with their kids, engaging in a give-and-take for the sake of learning. They give their child freedom to explore, to fail,and to make their own choices." (148)

"Flow is the the things we feel, or the place we're in, when we're interested in or talented at something and the challenge or situation is just slightly beyond our current capacity . . . When we're 'in flow,' the challenge we're facing slightly exceeds our skill level, and striving to keep at it, we lose track of time, don't notice our hunger or tiredness, and feel like what we're doing could go on and on and on. We're intrinsically motived -- whatever we're doing becomes its own reward . . . Noticing when we're in flow means noticing what we love doing." (158-9)

"Perfectionism is not only the enemy of the good; it is the enemy of adulthood." (174)

"you can help kids get to the heart of understanding a matter by asking them the question 'why?' five times." (182)

"an airline's worst-case-scenario directive about putting on your own oxygen mask before helping others is extremely practical advice for living life generally." (277)

"Happiness equals love -- full stop. (George Vaillant)" (281)