My 2017 Reading List

I spent much of my year deepening my faith and my commitment to justice. Those priorities are reflected in my reading, with perhaps a bit of a specific focus on race within the justice sphere.

In all honesty, I thank God for Clint Smith. I find his poetry transcendent. It makes me feel that I am a part of something greater than myself. Run, do not walk, to your local (independent) bookstore to get your copy of Counting Descent (2016).

You Will Not Have My Hate (2016) is my first book that I will be reviewing for Friends Journal. It is the raw, honest, and beautiful account of a man who lost his wife in the Paris terrorist attack of November 2016. It is so readable that could have finished the whole thing in one sitting! The author's self awareness calls all of us to examine our choices just a bit more closely.

We Gon' Be Alright: Notes on Race and Resegregation (2016) by Jeff Chang has so much beauty and brilliance in such a small package. It is full of thoughtful analysis on the racial justice movement of the last few years.

I'm not going to lie, when I found out that Chimamanda Adichie's Dear Ijeawele, or A Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions (2017) was originally a Facebook post, I was mad that I spent the money to buy it. Ultimately, though, I'm always happy to have her wisdom in my life. She's all about equality. Generous, just equality. Hard not to buy in to that.

I genuinely enjoyed Trevor Noah's Born a Crime (2016). It is a book that just goes to show that someone being joyful and funny can belie the challenges they have faced in life. And it shows that no matter how tough you have it growing up, there is no telling how you can turn out! What a life he has led!

I read The Irish Jesuit's Sacred Space for Lent 2017 every day of Lent. It's amazing how the same story can have such a different impact on us year after year. I had the joy of attending several retreats during Lent, and they all helped me connect more deeply to my spirituality. The daily readings in the book helped me to make connections between that deepening and the themes of Lent. I've done a lot of reflection on what it means to be a contemplative in action.

It is telling that the reviews on the back of Seeking the One Whom We Love: How RSCJs Pray (2016) come from James Martin, SJ, and Joan Chittister, OSB, two of my favorite religious leaders. They are both unapologetically progressive, wondering only how other Christians could misunderstand the Gospel message. They both see themselves reflected in this text, as the Sacred Heart Sisters describe how they form their own "personal and active" relationships with God. The RSCJs feel no need to box themselves in with their prayer lives - the methods they use to pray are as diverse as each of their personalities. And it is encouraging. It is nice to know that there is not one right answer, but that we're on the right track as long as we are "seeking the one whom we love."

Like much of the country, I picked up a copy of J.D. Vance's Hillbilly Elegy (2016) to try to understand the 2016 election. Although I wouldn't say it did that, that was also not its point. It was written as a window into the lives of "hillbillies." The push was effective in pushing me to consider the distinctions between race and class, as well as the many ways that privilege can be made manifest.

Over the course of the past nine months in which I have been savoring the experience of reading the works in Of Poetry & Protest: From Emmett Till to Trayvon Martin (2016), I have had the honor of being in the room with several of the featured poets. I have a Spotify playlist called "I'm Black and I'm proud," and this book reminds me of that sentiment. The book features essays, bios, and photos of black poets, as well as featured poetry and accompanying images. The book is a powerful testament to the fact that the struggle is real, while also serving as a testimonial that we are up to the challenge.

I can't believe it's been two months since I finished a book. What a year! I spent much of that time reading The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World (2016) by the Dalai Lama, Desmond Tutu ad Douglas Abrams. The book itself literally was filled with joy for me. I kept sending bits of it to people whom I thought either reflected or could use certain passages. It was also affirming because I do many of the practices that it suggests. Now when people ask me how I can be so joyful, I will get them a copy of this book! 

My department is all reading On Tyranny: Twenty Lessons from the Twentieth Century (2017) by Timothy Snyder this summer. We are history teachers, and it is about how to apply history to better understand the United today and all of our role in this evolving political climate. It is a very quick, yet thoughtful read. It is certainly encouraging for history teachers, as it speaks to the importance of our work in helping people to contextualize the present moment.

My next summer reading book for work is Architects of Catholic Culture: Designing and Building Catholic Culture in Catholic Schools by Timothy Cook (2001). I had trouble getting into it at first because the preface states that the biggest difference between Catholics and Protestants is that Protestants believe that God is dead. As I am a Protestant who certainly does not believe that, I had to take a break from the book for a while before returning to it this week. Once I got into it, I found the book to be very thoughtful - it's perfect for the beginning of the year to get all my neurons firing with brainstorming! It is a workbook and so invited lots of quality reflection. The book made me genuinely excited to help build Catholic culture at my school! 

I had to start From #Black Lives Matter to Black Liberation (2016) by Keeagna-Yamahtta Taylor several times before I got through it. I think if it weren't for the review I had agreed to write for it, I wouldn't have finished it this time. It is dense, but it offers a powerful history of how it we got to this moment. It is a perfect reminder of how important it is to push for systemic change.

I must admit that I did not appreciate Bitch Planet Volume Two: President Bitch (2017) as much I enjoyed the first collection. The concept reminds of a handmaids tale in which the oppressed women fight back. I love the concept. The actual plot is not as engaging for me, and I think I may be done with the series. 

The wife of a friend of mine is a member of the Black Ladies Brunch Collective who collectively wrote Not Without Our Laughter: Poems of Humor, Joy, and Sexuality (2017). It is a manifestation of the fun they have with language. It is poetry about their everyday lives and it serves as a reminder that we can find awe anywhere.

It took me from late some through early winter to finish The Invention of Wings by Sue Monk Kidd (2015), but once I got into the flow of it, I ultimately read two thirds of it in the past week. It turns out to be the story of women standing in their power, much like the story of 2017. And I think it the right choice of Sue Monk Kidd to tell it from the perspective of both a real abolitionist (Sarah Grimké) and largely fictionalized an enslaved woman. My two favorite lines were "I’d grown comfortable with the particulars of evil" and "the world depends upon the small beating in your heart." I fully believe that the world depends on each of us listening to that still small voice within.

I love Father Gregory Boyle. He tells the same stories over and over again, but they're great stories. And he shapes them in a way that remind me how to be the most human version of myself. Particularly for Christians, he shines a light on the heart of our faith. That is the value of Barking to the Choir: The Power of Radical Kinship (2017).

We will defend each other!

I have a poster on the back of my door that says, "We will defend each other," and I try to live my life in a way that honors that aspiration. I loved seeing an article illustrating just how alive that sentiment was in 2017!
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/12/18/world/heroism-altruism-courage-compassion-2017.html 

A week of love in action!

I am a highly programmed person. The programs I go to can be hit or miss, but this week they were all home runs! In fact, I cried at each one!

On Monday it was the brilliance of the Georgetown program "Confronting Racism in Our Hearts and in Our Nation," which featured a deeply moving panel. Here were some of my favorite quotes/ideas from the program:

• Archbishop Wilton Gregory
• Racism is a spiritual difficulty.
•  We confuse public actions with human conversion.
• Pope Francis shows us that the role of faith is to accompany people - to walk with them and to challenge them. Dr. King did that too (he was a minister of the gospel).
• Don't lose hope.
• Professor Marcia Chatelain
• It is significant when someone has a moral choice and chooses against the dignity of others.
• It is important to consider the consequences of our power on others' dignity. 
• We need to sit with negative emotions, and grapple with them, in order to heal. 
• We need to say tough things that call people in instead of out.
• Justice must be joyful.
• Moral imagination is important. 
• We all must consider what harm we have done and how we can work to repair it.
• We need love that is willing to risk. Where is each of us called to risk?
• Don't accept surface-level solutions.
• Racism has two functions - to discipline and to humiliate. 
• Reverend Jim Wallis
• What's at stake is the soul of the nation and the integrity of faith. 
• Racism is a continuing threat to Imago Dei.
• Don't retreat to cynicism. 
• Congressman John Lewis
• The Church should be a headlight not a taillight. 
• The way of love is a much better way. Just love everyone. You're making a downpayment on the Beloved Community. Love is so strong, so powerful.
• Voting is the most powerful nonviolent instrument we have.

On Wednesday it was to the emotion of the Second City show "Nothing to Lose (But Our Chains)." Comedian Felonious Monk shares his life story of growing up with a young single mother, spending time in prison, and becoming an activist. His reflections on life and society are insightful and beautiful stated. I laughed AND cried!

On Thursday it was the joy of rocking out at the Janet Jackson State of the World concert. It was amazing to think back at just how many hits she has had. And she still moves right along with her decades younger backup dancers! It is clear that she has had an impact on the world, and still today she is pointing out injustice and giving her voice to the side of love.

This was one of my all-time favorite weeks!

What a difference a year makes!

This week we marked a year since the election of President Trump. This past year has not been my strongest year of blogging, but it has been my strongest year of activism. I've been intentional in the last year about building my own capacity and the capacity of others. I've focused on the William Penn quote, "Let us then try what love can do." I've participated in workshops, trainings, and marches. I've pushed myself beyond my comfort zone in my advocating for a commitment to honoring the light of ALL people. 

My advocacy work leading up to the election led people to see me as someone who was lighting the way forward, and I have tried my best to live up to those expectations. I'm not new to protests or lobbying, but I am new to advocacy as a way of life. And it's been joyful.

We all have a role to play

I'm inspired by the solidarity among NFL teams today as they took a stand for justice: https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/sports/wp/2017/09/24/nfl-week-3-president-trump-urges-boycott-over-player-protests-injury-updates-scores-fantasy-football-tips

The Golden State Warriors also took a stand this weekend: http://www.businessinsider.com/golden-state-warriors-respond-to-trump-curry-white-house-visit-tweet-2017-9

I was also inspired this week by Jimmy Kimmel's stand on health care: https://www.nytimes.com/2017/09/21/arts/television/kimmel-cassidy-health-care.html

It's a great reminder that we can always make a difference within our sphere of influence!

"Preach the gospel, and if necessary, use words."

There's a line in Macklemore's song Wednesday Morning that says "Got my daughter in my arms and he [Trump] is not gonna raise her," and it's been the refrain in my head all week. I keep thinking about how although I may not have my own daughter, I am living the dream of working with 350+ girls as they discover their voices and their power. I believe that although the world is sharing with them too many messages of fear and hate, my colleagues and I send a much stronger message through our love and we graduate young people who know how to share their love with the world. That is the peace I am holding onto. <3

#BlackGirlMagic

I had a week that made me feel magical because I

- helped organize a discussion and action in response to Charlottesville for high school students
- got appointed to the General Committee of the Friends Committee on National Legislation
- helped plan the orientation and retreat for a Friends School Board of Trustees I'm on
- wrote a book review for Friends Journal
- supported students doing a presentation on models and opportunities for solidarity in connection with Hurricane Harvey
- did meaningful work in my Genocide Studies class, connecting history with current events and putting the students' first projects up on the classroom walls
- helped to coordinate a video for International Peace Day
- got in some quality workouts and meditations

Each day was meaningful. I am ever grateful for work that matters, both professionally and personally.

Making a Difference

One of the most powerful experiences I have is when out of the blue someone tells me that something I have said or done has had an impact on the way they think or act. I remember when I was growing up my goal for my adult life was to create a ripple effect. Heading into and out of college, my main goal was to embody Wellesley's motto: "Women who will make a difference in the world." I'm not leading any major movements or developing any paradigm shifting programs, but every so often I get to hear from people that I have made a difference to them. It can be anything from my activism to my positivity to a piece of my writing, but it's enough to help me feel that I am on the right path. Those encouraging bits of feedback remind me that I too need to be mindful to explicitly reflect people's light back to them. We can all support each other in being the best versions of ourselves.

Finding the Light

Today I had a true test of my joy.

In a summer of adventures, one that I was particularly looking forward to was seeing Hamilton in Chicago tonight. My friends and I bought our tickets back in early February. We had shared earlier this summer that we were particularly excited because a Tony winner we love is only in the cast for another couple weeks and we were going to get to see her. It was also to going be an adventure among dear friends who had not previously traveled together. And then our flight got canceled. And then we were told that the airline could not get us to Chicago in time for our show. What bad news!

But how could I complain? My friends have made miracles for me this summer. Up until today I have traveled to my heart's content. I have been the recipient of so much love and such warm hospitality. And in just two days I leave for a full week of family vacation. I'm as lucky as a gal can be, and I can only bask in all the light that has been shared with me.

#SacredHeartQuaker

Four years ago I wrote in my cover letter about how well the Goals of Sacred Heart Education (faith, intellect, service, community, growth) align with my own personal values. Since then my love for Sacred Heart spirituality has only grown, as I have learned that the core of the Sacred Heart mission is to bring more love to the world and as every Sacred Heart nun I have met I has embodied that commitment. In the last couple years, I've even become a Sacred Heart Associate, a lay member of the Sacred Heart community. But if I'm really honest with myself, my commitment was more head than heart - even as I introduced myself to my small group at the beginning of the Sacred Heart Spirituality Forum this week, I explained that what I love about Sacred Heart spirituality is its ability to ARTICULATE the commitment to love that is central to my spirituality. Through the forum, though, Sacred Heart spirituality moved from my head to my heart. It is a way of life, and I am deeply proud to be counted among its adherents.

Widening the circle of compassion

While in Zanzibar, our group had a passionate debate that began when I said that I didn't believe in "bad people." I believe that once we start labeling people as bad, we stop seeing their humanity. In the past 24 hours I've now read two articles that affirm lack of labels. The articles come from two communities that I love and that often cannot understand my love for the other: the activist community (http://www.catalystwedco.com/blog/2017/7/10/kin-aesthetics-excommunicate-me-from-the-church-of-social-justice) and the faith community (https://www.americamagazine.org/faith/2017/07/13/italian-jesuit-journal-calls-out-ecumenism-hate-between-some-evangelicals-and). What a good reminder of how much more effective we our when we widen our circle of compassion!

Current Queries

I'm at a spirituality forum this week and though I haven't come away with any firm answers yet, I am keeping a running list of queries that arise for me as I take it all in. So a peak into my mind right now would reveal:

• How does a school embrace diversity of beliefs and ideas as a gift?
• What am I proud to do consistently? What would I like to do more consistently in line with my values?
• Where in my life am I compromising? Why? Are my compromises rooted in fear or love?
• How does one hold the tension between one's power and one's vulnerability?
• How am I making space in my life to hear my call? How am I intentionally balancing mind, body, and spirit? 
• What does it mean to me to rest in the heart of God?
• What does it mean to me to be radical?

These are just the kind of questions I need on the heels of my trip to Rwanda. Meaningful work here is easing my transition back to the US!

Standing in Power, Acting with Love

[The following comes from an exercise of writing the story of my own hero's journey]

Lauren was the first born child of a force of nature and a dreamer. Her parents sent her to schools that shared their high expectations for her, and through this combination of nature and nurture, Lauren grew to care deeply about leaving the world a better place than she found it. She fell in love with learning and continued to evolve into different roles in education until she found herself a teacher. Her very first class featured students who had already found their passion, and their passion was Palestine. Lauren’s Quaker sensibilities were challenged by these students and their belief that there were only violent solutions for Palestinians, so Lauren went to graduate school to study nonviolent activism. She had discovered her passion. She easily channeled her energy into discussions with students about the power of nonviolent resistance, but she struggled to find outlets for her own activism. Nevertheless, she persisted; she used all the resources she could to learn more and get engaged, and slowly but surely she found her place in local and Quaker activist networks as a committed team member willing to speak truth to power. The connection between her teaching and her activism became evident on November 9, 2016 when she received myriad messages from both friends and former students saying that her work had inspired them to recognize that individuals have the power and the responsibility to speak up and stand up to injustice. That was when she realized she could change the world through the ripple effect of modeling love and light. And so Lauren doubled down on her commitment to being a dreamer and a force of nature. She joyfully shares her own light and seeks to articulate and serve as a catalyst for the light in others. She knows that together they can leave the world a brighter place than they found it.

Love Manifesto

“God is love.” - 1 John 4:8

“Justice is what love looks like in public.” - Cornel West

I have a bumper sticker on my office door that says, “The real revolution will be love.” What that captures about me is not only the fact that I love intensely, but also that I actively wield my love as a force. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.  said that, "Power at its best is love implementing the demands of justice, and justice at its best is power correcting everything that stands against love." It is time to reclaim love from the greeting card companies. Love has the capacity to make the world a better place, but only if we understand that love’s power is not in catching more flies with honey, but in recognizing and acting on behalf of our shared humanity and liberation.

The power of love begins within ourselves. Just as on an airplane we need to put on our own oxygen mask before we help others, so too with love we must tend to ourselves before we are equipped to care for others. While love of self must be rooted internally, it is most secure when it receives validation from the outside. We hear about how often bullies are insecure - they bring others down because of a vacuum in their own self worth. We need to support those around us in loving themselves. We need to reflect their light back to them. Psychologist Abraham Maslow’s pyramid of human needs illustrated that our being loved as a member of a community is part of the full expression of our humanity. As South African philosophy posits, “I am because we are.”

Once we feel secure in ourselves and our relationships, we can expand beyond our comfort zones. In order to do this, we must embrace a love of multidimensional truth, a respect for the fact that our experiences help shape our realities, so there is no truth with a capital T. Although we often cling to the comfort of our bubbles, research has proven that groups with diverse perspectives are more successful. We can develop a multidimensional understanding of the world both through interpersonal relationships and through stories that allow us to connect with protagonists that are drastically distinct from us. We must remain open to our paradigm shifting.

As we come to better understand the world, we must more fully interact with it. We need a love of civic engagement. Nothing in our community, our nation, our world will get better if those who act out of love aren’t willing to do so publicly. We must find opportunities to embrace our agency and stand in our power. Khalil Gibran wrote that “Work is love made visible.” We must find inroads to the work of community building and the work of systems change.

When times get tough, it can be easy to check out. What allows us to stay grounded is the belief that we are a part of something greater than ourselves. Mother Teresa said, “If we have no peace it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.” For the purpose of solidarity, it is important to understand that we are all connected. So is our liberation. We must have love of that which connects us all, whether our beliefs are spiritually or secularly grounded.

Let the love revolution begin.

Prayer for pain, grace, hope

A few years ago I encountered both Anne Lamott's book Help, Thanks, Wow: The Three Essential Prayers and Mary Oliver's poem "Praying":

“It doesn’t have to be
the blue iris, it could be
weeds in a vacant lot, or a few
small stones; just
pay attention, then patch

a few words together and don’t try
to make them elaborate, this isn’t
a contest but the doorway

into thanks, and a silence in which
another voice may speak.”

Both pushed me to reframe the way that I think about prayer. Because I am Quaker, I had never thought of myself as praying. I thought about holding people in the Light and I thought about connecting with that of God within me, but I never considered any of that prayer. Anne Lamott and Mary Oliver helped me to get to a place in which I engage more directly and intentionally with a higher power. It gives me another tool in my spiritual toolbox.

This spring I developed a prayer model for myself that builds off of that foundation. There is tragedy on the news day after day, but there are also myriad sources of inspiration. When I begin to feel weighed down by a current event, I craft a prayer that names the pain, the grace I have found in the face of the pain, and the hope I have for the future. I have found meaningful spiritual grounding in this framework. It has become a lens through which I can consider the world. It helps me to feel agency.

Yesterday I read an article, "How to Stay Sane if Trump is Driving You Insane: Advice From a Therapist" by Robin Chancer, which offers advice that mirrors my practice. In order to process what is happening in the world, it is important to acknowledge how challenging current events can be to learn about, while also maintaining gratitude and faith. Neither optimism nor pessimism are particularly useful, but mindfulness is key. My pain, grace, hope prayers allow me to move beyond the feelings that I have about the world outside and focus instead on all that I have to share with the world. When challenges erupt around me, I have a place of inner peace that I have trained my mind to find. It is not a backing down, but rather a return to my source of strength during hard times. 

We March Because We Care

After a slow March of marching (thank you Women's Day for keeping our momentum alive), April is back strong with the Tax March, March for Science, and the People's Climate March.

I took my father to New York's Tax March. It was his first march in two decades and he was blown away by the creativity of the signs. I really do think that we have evolved out of both frequency of marches and a desire to keep ourselves inspired.

I loved the March for Science because it was pouring rain and still thousands of people came out. It was a demonstration of our perseverance.

The People's Climate March was the most reminiscent of the Women's March. There were people EVERYWHERE (though less densely packed).

Today marks one hundred days of resistance, persistence, and coexistence.

Life Lessons from Trivia

I've never been any good at trivia, but I've learned along the way that if I feel certain about something I regret it when I don't speak up about my certainty. Tonight I felt certain about something, spoke up, was wrong, and our team fell short by exactly the half point that I insisted I was right about. I couldn't move on until I figured out what life lesson I can learn from that. I've decided that it's that even when I'm sure I'm right, it's still critically important to keep an open mind. Thankfully, the stakes were not too high this time around!

Just what I needed

I just had a five day break at the exact moment I needed it the most. As much as I loved my Sicily trip, not having had a true break over spring break was making me start to feel like I had nothing more to give. On both the first and last days of the break, I did necessary work (both professional and my taxes!), but also had great visits with friends. In the middle three days, I had adventures with my family. And I slept well every night, I went to Meeting for Worship, I read meaningfully, and I got a pedicure. It was such a great reminder of what quality self-care feels like. I don't think I'll have that many days off again until July, but I can certainly be intentional about creating a balanced life.

We can do things!

For a long time, I had a feeling that my best-fit role was supporting meaningful projects that made a difference. Since the election, I have been stepping up to help lead meaningful projects.

I have organized a group of black women focused on social justice, especially in the field of education, and we meet to support each other in our social justice endeavors. I like to call the group Sisters in the Struggle.

I organized a community forum for Inauguration week to discuss peace and justice. We defined the terms for ourselves and then considered how to cultivate them in our community.

I helped take a lead in getting my Meeting to approve a Minute designating us as a sanctuary congregation and in getting the school board I am on to craft and approve a Minute reaffirming our values in these politically charged times.

There is so much more to do, but it's good to remember how capable we are all to act.

Can't do it all!

The story of my life is that I always feel like I can and should be doing more. That is all the more true in this political environment. Tonight I am appreciating that although I am all too human in my limitations, I do think that if ever I am asked by future generation about what I did in these fraught times, I will at least be able to honestly say that my actions reflected my values.

Theme Weekend

I like to say that I am a Sacred Heart Quaker. The connection between my personal and professional life was very clear this weekend when I had justice networking days for both. That feeling of alignment is extremely affirming. It's also a great reminder that we shouldn't get distracted by false divisions. All people who are building the Beloved Community should be answering the Light in each other.

Sicilian Spring Break Reflection

I loved Sicily. I loved having days without internet. I loved the opportunity to connect with the elements - light, water, and even the fire of Mt. Etna. I loved the opportunity to reconnect with the ancient world and remember that Classical literature is a window into our shared humanity. I loved that without being attached to devices, I was able to be fully present to the people around me. I went into the trip knowing that I was with a dream team of chaperones, but I had no idea just how impactful each of their unique magic is. I was allowed opportunities to share my gifts with the group. I was continually in awe of how thoughtful our students are - whether it's offering me sunglasses or a scarf or pulling tics out of a dog's ear, they consistently make the generous choice. What a special week!

Retreat Witness Talk - "Nourishing Others"

I’ve been an overcommitter for as long as I can remember. I’m not proud of it, I don’t recommend it, but that is my authentic self. I think you will find it unsurprising that when I was in 11th grade I started both a tutoring club and spirit club and worked with the new school counselor to develop both a peer counseling and a freshmen mentoring program and then train the peer counselors and freshmen mentors.  As I applied for college, I wrote my essay about how I didn’t know how, but I knew that I was determined to make a difference in the world.

Sometimes we can discern our calling before we have words for it. Now I know that all those activities that I was drawn to in 11th grade were a part of what I now describe as building the Beloved Community. Because of my tendency to overcommit, I regularly find myself in situations in which I have to introduce myself and say why I’m there. Peace and Social Justice Committee Meetings, Quaker Palestine Israel Network meetings, Quakers for DC meetings, Building Diverse Leadership Committee meetings, Pax Christi meetings, RSCJ Justice Peace and the Integrity of Creation meetings -- again and again and again, I repeat: I’m here because my life’s mission is to build the Beloved Community.

How did I determine that that is my life’s mission? Because along the way that was where I felt the most energy. It is what has sustained me. It is my daily bread. In college, I LOVED being an RA. I loved being able to care for people in a way that mattered to them. Making them feel like they had a home on first floor Stone, and then on the 2nd floor of Stone, and then finally the 4th floor of Beebe Hall. I loved being able to demonstrate to my residents that they were seen and known and loved. That they were never alone because they always had sister in me. Many of my former residents are still among my best friends and I still consider them my sisters.

After my first year of being an RA, a significant number of my residents applied to be RAs the following year. I made them a book of tips, and the only one I remember to this day is “create a culture of caring, and let it begin with you.” The experience I have had where I best put that to use was my seven summers directing an overnight enrichment camp for middle schoolers. I probably shouldn’t admit this, but the camp was cult-like. Not on purpose, but because we developed such a strong culture of kindness, campers came back year after year and their membership in our camp community became part of how they identified themselves. Just like in being an RA, I sought to ensure that everyone in our camp community felt loved, this time not just by me, but by their fellow campers and their counselors. We had opportunities in every day when campers could give “kudos” to each other and at the end of the week we gave every camper an award for the light that we saw in them. I once received an email from a former camper that said, “I just graduated a few weeks ago, and as I head off to college, I have been thinking about camp and how important it was for me. Camp was so critical in my life that when asked to write a personal statement responding to the prompt "Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, or risk and its impact on you.’ I wrote about camp without a second thought. Camp changed who I am, and without it I would not be as confident or feel as prepared to take on college and beyond.” Bringing to life that dream of mine of building the Beloved Community, even if only for two weeks each summer, was just as impactful for me as it was for that camper. And those camp counselors continue to this day to be rays of light in my life.

And finally, I cannot talk about light without sharing the story my first full advisory. At my old school students often switch advisories every year and are required to after 9th grade because there is a separate set of 9th grade advisors of which I had been one. Well, my advisees in the class of 2012 spent the entire second semester of their 9th grade year convincing me to switch over to be a 10th-12th grade advisor. I loved them authentically, they felt like a family to each other, and we did all stay together for all four years that they were in high school. There were moments over the course of those years when they would act exclusively or bicker like siblings, but we would always return to our two advisory mottos - “we will be models of inclusivity” and “everybody love everybody.” Ultimately, we shortened that last one to just ELE, and anytime someone would start to lose their patience, someone else call out “ELE!” and we’d have peace. One year I special ordered M&Ms with ELE as their holiday present, at one point I made cookies for Valentine’s day and decorated them with ELE, and then for their graduation present I gave them mugs that included the school motto (Let your life speak) along with ELE. They gave me presents too - sophomore year a t-shirt that said World’s Greatest Advisor that they all signed, junior year a calendar of the life lessons I had taught them, and their senior year they made a video of what I meant to them over the years. The truth is that their opening their hearts to me and each other was their greatest and most lasting gift. As we’ve stayed in touch (and you may even see some of them as stop by the school on occasion), I continue to be inspired by the way they live their lives with love.

And so you can see that again and again, as I have the opportunity to serve as a nurturer, my own spirit is fed. We talk about reciprocity a lot in Social Action because that is at the heart of a true Beloved Community. As you answer God’s call to stand with those on the margins, you find God in those with whom you partner. And as you are then spiritually nourished by the work, you seek more and deeper ways to nourish others. And thus the cycle continues. The prayer of St. Francis begins, “Lord, make me an instrument of your peace” and goes on to say “grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console; to be understood, as to understand; to be loved, as to love. For it is in giving that we receive.” Continue to do service in the spirit of partnership. Continue to be grateful for opportunities to join your heart with the hearts of others.

The resistance is intersectional

I've been working on this post since the Inauguration, but International Women's Day seems like the best day to finalize it. One of friends just posted the hashtag #ItsNotFeminismIfItsNotIntersectional.

I LOVE that the resistance movement is wholly intersectional.

Activists knew from the election result that we can't be successful alone. In the words of Tupac, "The old way wasn't working, so it's on us to make a change." We now say loud and proud (and over and over) that we will not be torn apart. A microcosm of this energy is the ways that in the face of antisemitism and Islamophobia, Muslims and Jews have stood side by side as people attack both community. We all realize that all of our liberation is intertwined.

I have yet to go to a march or rally since the election that did not represent a coalition of causes. Even if it's a protest against the travel ban, we're saying "No Ban, No Wall" and "From Palestine to Mexico, all the walls have got to go." We have a rotating blank that we fill in for the chant, "When ________ are under attack, what do we do? Stand up fight back!" And goodness knows our signs have to be inclusive, because discriminatory policies are being created faster than we can make new posters! Mine now says "Lead with Love" on one side and "We #Resist because we LOVE" on the other so that I can keep up.

I'm inspired every time I head to the streets. We've always all been in this together, but now we've all woken up to that fact.

Prayer

One of my "five to stay alive" has been silence/meditation ("use silence to get in touch with the Light within me"), and I've decided that I'm changing the word for that to "prayer." I've been reading two books on prayer recently - one Sacred Heart (Seeking the One Whom We Love: How RSCJs Pray) and one Quaker (Finding God in the Verbs: Crafting a Fresh Language of Prayer), and I'm surprised by how similarly they describe what I call "meditation" as "prayer." I'm going to own it! I have even started to keep a notebook of prayers, many of which I took from a previous blog post about my favorite meditations :)

Update: Seeking the One Whom We Love is titled after a quote from St. Madeleine Sophie Barat that speaks to this embracing of the diversity of prayer. She said, "It doesn't matter how you pray, as long as your heart seeks the One whom you love."

I had a day.

Today was a Murphy's Law kind of day. Some of my logistical nightmares were realized. Thankfully, none of it was worst case scenario, and I survived to tell the tale.

And there were also many wonderful moments. Some of the most meaningful ones that let me know that I am on the right track were:

- A colleague told m that they consider me particularly prayerful. That was a touching compliment.

- A student in my Genocide class overheard another student make disparaging remarks about people with different beliefs, and she responded that that student should pop into Genocide class to learn about how to not ostracize those with beliefs that are different than ours.

- A gaggle of 10th graders came to tell me how excited they are to take the Genocide class next year.
-  I had an article published in one of my favorite magazines!

Grateful for this day.

Catharsis at the Oscars

Sobbing. Hyperventilating. Moonlight to me in this moment represents all of the marginalized. Their stolen moment represents all the shit that gets thrown our way. Their triumph shines a light on all of our persistence. They made something beautiful and it was seen for its magnificence. And you know what those filmmakers said? "This goes out to all those black and brown boys and girls and non-gender-conforming who don't see themselves. We're trying to show you you and us. So thank you, thank you, this is for you." Their win touches the deepest parts of me. I needed this.

Decluttering and it feels so good!

My life has felt cluttered recently. My agenda is cluttered, my tabs are cluttered, and my mind is cluttered (and exhausted!). Tonight I decided that instead of doing the tasks and going to the events that I had in my calendar, I would take the night to declutter my work email (after having decluttered my personal email over the holiday weekend). It feels like such an important step. I had started to feel stress every time I saw the number of unread emails go up. Now I feel like I'm back in the driver's seat. Next stop is my tabs. There is so much going on in this moment, and I am called in so many different directions, but I know that I am most effective when I can single-task. I am working to empower myself to do just that.

A “Day without Immigrants” open letter to my friends who immigrated to US

Thank you for sharing your gifts to help make the United States great. I am disappointed in my country these days, but I couldn’t be prouder of my friends. My life, my communities, and this world are stronger for your presence. I’m sorry that immigrants had to make their presence known and appreciated today. I’ve never taken immigrants for granted because so many of my good friends and beloved colleagues were born outside of the US. However, I have never before been quite so cognizant of how living in the country I was born into is a source of my privilege. I promise that in honor of all of the light that immigrants bring to my life, I will persist in fighting policies and actions that dehumanize immigrants or put immigrants in the margins. I stand in solidarity with immigrants today and every day. I will do everything in my power to make “liberty and justice for all” a reality.

All My Love,

LB

Beyonce and Adele at the Grammy's

Beyonce just lost both Record and Album of the year to Adele, which felt like a repeat every recent loss for what felt like "justice." However,  Adele's acknowledging Beyonce's "light" and impact feel like a different ending to that story. Adele used her platform to model allyship. That is a subtle yet powerful way of standing with the resistance. Resistance to the marginalization of voices of color. Resistance to injustice everywhere.

Inner Peace for Outer Peace

Arianna Huffington wrote yesterday that, "The goal of any true resistance is to affect outcomes, not just to vent. And the only way to affect outcomes and thrive in our lives, is to find the eye in the hurricane, and act from that place of inner strength."

I got to a point yesterday when I was overwhelmed with a feeling of insufficiency in the face of our national challenges. It was a feeling I had a lot in the weeks immediately following the election. It hurts when it feels as though your best just isn't good enough. What I have learned from the last couple months is that the remedy for me is meditation. If I can center myself, then I can let go of my ego, let go of all the swirling in my head, and simply ground myself in love. That is the eye of my storm. Even a couple minutes can work wonders. 

Don't Let My Smile Fool You

There was an article that came out today that directly referenced my smiling through a vigil about the immigration ban. I was smiling because love is my superpower. Love is what sustains me in this work, and so love, rather than anger, is what I am feeling at protests. Coincidentally, later today a friend was telling me that her husband, whom I met for the first time yesterday, was surprised by my peaceful demeanor because my friend/his wife has been describing me as a fierce activist. He was expecting someone who came across as more hardcore. I love that I can represent how activism can be done by joyful, loving folks. I don't think there's anything wrong with being angry in this moment, but if you don't channel that into something positive, the energy is wasted.

Magic

I'm having a hard time sleeping while it feels like the world is on fire, but I don't mind going into work. Why? Because when I'm at work, I feel like I'm a part of Dumbledore's Army (more on that reference here). We encourage the magic in each other and in our students. We are not consumed by the fire, we light up the dark. 

A Personal Retreat Day for Justice

Yesterday there was an executive order banning immigrants from certain Muslim countries. Today I woke up and immediately began my justice work. I was like a justice-producing machine for 15 hours, only taking breaks to shower and prepare meals. I produced 87 tweets. I signed 18 petitions. I read all the calls-to-action I didn't have time for during the week and all the resources I'd been saving. I made a Google Folder with all my favorite resistance materials. I shared everything I came across that I thought others would appreciate. I checked in with my fellow social justice warriors to see how they were doing. I invited people to protests. I followed all the actions happening throughout the country. I cried, a lot, as I was awed by the extent to which we were all standing together. I felt like even though I was not putting my body on the line today, I was equally useful as an information hub. It was a good reminder of how many different ways there are for people to use their voices and find their actions for justice. We all need to find our place in the work, cause now is a time when we need all hands on deck!

For Love of the Dance

I went to an amazing dance performance last night by Collage Dance Collective. They exuded what so much of humanity strives for -- grace, strength, and beauty. It was powerful and moving. It made me think of a prayer that the book Finding God in the Verbs: Crafting a Fresh Language of Prayer says was written by St. Augustine (but which I have seen elsewhere may be misattributed to him): 
“I praise the dance, for it frees people from the heaviness of matter and binds the isolated to community. I praise the dance, which demands everything: health and a clear spirit and a buoyant soul. Dance is a transformation of space, of time, of people, who are in constant danger of becoming all brain, will, or feeling. Dancing demands a whole person, one who is firmly anchored in the center of his life, who is not obsessed by lust for people and things and the demon of isolation in his own ego. Dancing demands a freed person, one who vibrates with the equipoise of all his powers. I praise the dance.O man, learn to dance, or else the angels in heaven will not know what to do with you.”

May we all learn to embrace the joys of dance.

2016 in Review

There was a lot of rhetoric at the end of last year about what a terrible year it was, but on December 31, I took a look back at the year and I was pleasantly surprised by the number of highlights and lessons that the year had produced. I came away from 2016 knowing these things:

- I am strengthened by spirituality, love, friendship, and my sense of perseverance
- I can organize conferences (I did three in April!)
- My voice has power (I felt this through both writing and presentations)
- Organizing for justice is the path to a better future
- There is a power of being in the room where it happens (I got so much inspiration from programs I attended)
- Making space for reflecting on my values builds my spiritual foundation
- I find great joy in reading and walking (not at the same time except when I elliptical)
- I am brave (from phone banking to canvassing, I stretched myself beyond my comfort zone)
- I make a difference to students (they told me in a number of different ways)
- I am at my best when I stand in my power with love
- I have expertise to share (and I was asked to share it more in 2016 than ever before)
- There is nothing wrong with external motivation (I have the refrigerator and door to prove it)

And if there were a theme for the year, it would be "They tried to bury us. They didn't know we were seeds." And that "we" meant so many things in 2016. To me, "we" included my colleagues, and women, and African Americans, and everyone in the struggle for social justice. As a teacher of genocide, I know that we only move forward when there is no "they" and we expand our compassionate circle of "we" to include all of humanity, particularly those on the margins. All of our seeds need love and light to grow, and in the right conditions we can bravely overcome obstacles. Let us join together in resisting anything and anyone that would stop us from brightening the world.

My First Letter to the Editor Submission

One of my goals last year was to step up my civic engagement game by writing letters to the editor. I even did a training with Catholic Climate Covenant, but I never quite figured out where to start. And then the New York Times asked for submissions with reflections on Obama's presidency. So below is my first ever letter to the editor submission. It didn't get published, but it doesn't make me any less proud to have taken that first step in the world of LTEs!

As a Black woman in the United States, I grew up feeling marginalized. And then the election of Barack Obama in 2008 felt like a victory for all of us in the margins. That feeling was most explicitly realized for me in President Obama’s 2013 inaugural address, in which he reminded this nation of our better nature through those moments at Seneca Falls, Selma, and Stonewall when people bravely demanded that they too were America. We knew that by joining him in hoping for and even demanding that better America, we made ourselves vulnerable. President Obama invited us to recognize our vulnerabilities as sources of strength. Through him we saw the both the power and the limitations of hope. We were sometimes frustrated with him, often felt he could and should have done more, but personally, deep down he always felt like my champion. President Obama has shown me that America is worthy of my civic engagement as someone who believes in love and justice, freedom and equity. And because of President Obama, I believe that even in these United States it is possible that, in Seamus Heaney’s words, “justice can rise up, [a]nd hope and history rhyme.”

Goals for 2017

As we head into a new political administration, I'm channeling politicians for my mantras of 2017. In the spirit of Shirley Chisolm, my first mantra of the year is "unbroken and unbossed." In honor of Cory Booker, I am also guided by the words "I am the storm." With those slogans to ground me, I would like to:

- Divest from Bank of America because of their negative social impact

- Be authentic in all situations

- Increase my mindfulness and decrease my egocentrism by decreasing my time on social media to the point that I no longer feel addicted.

- Develop the habit of single tasking

- Start bullet journaling (this one's already done!)

- Leave home early enough that I don't have to worry about traffic on my way to work and can begin my day with less stress

- Train for and run in the Marine Corps Marathon to commemorate my 10th anniversary from my first race

I am hoping for an efficient and effective year!