I’ve been an overcommitter for as long as I can remember. I’m not proud of it, I don’t recommend it, but that is my authentic self. I think you will find it unsurprising that when I was in 11th grade I started both a tutoring club and spirit club and worked with the new school counselor to develop both a peer counseling and a freshmen mentoring program and then train the peer counselors and freshmen mentors. As I applied for college, I wrote my essay about how I didn’t know how, but I knew that I was determined to make a difference in the world.
Sometimes we can discern our calling before we have words for it. Now I know that all those activities that I was drawn to in 11th grade were a part of what I now describe as building the Beloved Community. Because of my tendency to overcommit, I regularly find myself in situations in which I have to introduce myself and say why I’m there. Peace and Social Justice Committee Meetings, Quaker Palestine Israel Network meetings, Quakers for DC meetings, Building Diverse Leadership Committee meetings, Pax Christi meetings, RSCJ Justice Peace and the Integrity of Creation meetings -- again and again and again, I repeat: I’m here because my life’s mission is to build the Beloved Community.
How did I determine that that is my life’s mission? Because along the way that was where I felt the most energy. It is what has sustained me. It is my daily bread. In college, I LOVED being an RA. I loved being able to care for people in a way that mattered to them. Making them feel like they had a home on first floor Stone, and then on the 2nd floor of Stone, and then finally the 4th floor of Beebe Hall. I loved being able to demonstrate to my residents that they were seen and known and loved. That they were never alone because they always had sister in me. Many of my former residents are still among my best friends and I still consider them my sisters.
After my first year of being an RA, a significant number of my residents applied to be RAs the following year. I made them a book of tips, and the only one I remember to this day is “create a culture of caring, and let it begin with you.” The experience I have had where I best put that to use was my seven summers directing an overnight enrichment camp for middle schoolers. I probably shouldn’t admit this, but the camp was cult-like. Not on purpose, but because we developed such a strong culture of kindness, campers came back year after year and their membership in our camp community became part of how they identified themselves. Just like in being an RA, I sought to ensure that everyone in our camp community felt loved, this time not just by me, but by their fellow campers and their counselors. We had opportunities in every day when campers could give “kudos” to each other and at the end of the week we gave every camper an award for the light that we saw in them. I once received an email from a former camper that said, “I just graduated a few weeks ago, and as I head off to college, I have been thinking about camp and how important it was for me. Camp was so critical in my life that when asked to write a personal statement responding to the prompt "Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, or risk and its impact on you.’ I wrote about camp without a second thought. Camp changed who I am, and without it I would not be as confident or feel as prepared to take on college and beyond.” Bringing to life that dream of mine of building the Beloved Community, even if only for two weeks each summer, was just as impactful for me as it was for that camper. And those camp counselors continue to this day to be rays of light in my life.
And finally, I cannot talk about light without sharing the story my first full advisory. At my old school students often switch advisories every year and are required to after 9th grade because there is a separate set of 9th grade advisors of which I had been one. Well, my advisees in the class of 2012 spent the entire second semester of their 9th grade year convincing me to switch over to be a 10th-12th grade advisor. I loved them authentically, they felt like a family to each other, and we did all stay together for all four years that they were in high school. There were moments over the course of those years when they would act exclusively or bicker like siblings, but we would always return to our two advisory mottos - “we will be models of inclusivity” and “everybody love everybody.” Ultimately, we shortened that last one to just ELE, and anytime someone would start to lose their patience, someone else call out “ELE!” and we’d have peace. One year I special ordered M&Ms with ELE as their holiday present, at one point I made cookies for Valentine’s day and decorated them with ELE, and then for their graduation present I gave them mugs that included the school motto (Let your life speak) along with ELE. They gave me presents too - sophomore year a t-shirt that said World’s Greatest Advisor that they all signed, junior year a calendar of the life lessons I had taught them, and their senior year they made a video of what I meant to them over the years. The truth is that their opening their hearts to me and each other was their greatest and most lasting gift. As we’ve stayed in touch (and you may even see some of them as stop by the school on occasion), I continue to be inspired by the way they live their lives with love.
And so you can see that again and again, as I have the opportunity to serve as a nurturer, my own spirit is fed. We talk about reciprocity a lot in Social Action because that is at the heart of a true Beloved Community. As you answer God’s call to stand with those on the margins, you find God in those with whom you partner. And as you are then spiritually nourished by the work, you seek more and deeper ways to nourish others. And thus the cycle continues. The prayer of St. Francis begins, “Lord, make me an instrument of your peace” and goes on to say “grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console; to be understood, as to understand; to be loved, as to love. For it is in giving that we receive.” Continue to do service in the spirit of partnership. Continue to be grateful for opportunities to join your heart with the hearts of others.
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