Learning, Growing, Moving Forward

It's been a rough year. No one in my echo chamber (I'm working on it!) of the internet denies that, and people have produced some pretty great end-of-the-year reflections to wrap it up, so that we can start 2017 on the right note!

The best reminder to learn, grow, and move forward:
http://www.nytimes.com/2016/12/30/opinion/take-a-bad-year-and-make-it-better.html

If you're feeling cheeky:
http://theroottv.theroot.com/video.mason/2016-Be-Like

If you need inspiration:
https://auburnseminary.org/11-faith-rooted-justice-stories-captured-imaginations-2016
http://www.yesmagazine.org/people-power/it-wasnt-all-bad-5-signs-of-positive-change-in-2016-20161227

A running list of books I finish in 2016

I had an absolutely outstanding year of reading in 2016. It was a hard year and my book choices reflected that. I read books about others who survived challenges and books with advice about how to survive them. And I read a lot. I made the choice to read many more times this year, and I was so grateful for all I learned.

Americanah (2013) by Chimamanda Adichie was a Christmas present from 2014 that I very slowly made my way through. While I appreciated its sensitivity to and illumination of blackness both nationally and globally, I found its complex story sometimes felt like work. It was worth it in the end.

The Beast Side: Living and Dying While Black in America (2015) by D. Watkins is a easy to read collection of essays about growing up in an under-resourced community and then making it out. It is in many ways the opposite of the Brief and Tragic Life of Robert Peace. It also deals well with current events.

Bitch Planet Book One (2015) by Kelly Sue Deconnick and Vaelntine de Landro is a graphic dystopian story about women who are "non-compliant" being sent to their own planet. I love that it is a celebration of how women can overcome even the fiercest oppression.

Between the Dark and the Daylight: Embracing the Contradictions of Life (2015) by Joan Chittister is a beautiful reflection on the spiritual complexities that we all face in life. It reminds us that we are three-dimensional people living in a world without easy answers.

We Should All Be Feminists (2013) by Chimamanda Adichie is a book I wasn't convinced I need to own because it is easily available as a TED Talk, but then I decided that it certainly wouldn't hurt to have that title statement up on my bookshelf. It is a lovely gem of a book. My favorite quote is "I am angry. We should all be angry. Anger has a long history of bringing about positive change. But I am also hopeful, because I believe deeply in the ability of human beings to remake themselves off the better."

Mercy in the City (2014) by Kerry Webber is a pondering of faith in the modern world. Kerry explores what it means for her to be young and Catholic in New York City and how her faith grounds her. I especially appreciate that she is a Mercy Associate, as I am a Sacred Heart Associate. 

Sacred Space for Lent 2016 by The Irish Jesuits includes weekly reflections and daily scripture readings. It was a lovely way to have reflection built into each day.

Revelation and Revolution: Answering the Call to Radical Faithfulness (2015) by Steve Chase is a reflection on how Quakers can follow in the footsteps of Martin Luther King in building the Beloved Community. He makes a strong case for the spiritual basis for activism.

Writing My Wrongs: Life, Death, and Redemption in an American Prison (2013) by Shaka Senghor is one man's story of how he came to prison and how he used prison as a catalyst to turn his life around to be a force to better his community and the world. His life is a testament to the challenges of the prison-industrial complex and to the difference that individuals can make within and to that system.

Mighty Be Our Powers: How Sisterhood, Prayer, and Sex Changed a Nation at War (2012) is by Leymah Gbowee, a 2011 Nobel Peace Prize winner. Her story is one of how she turned her life around by finding strength first within herself and then ultimately in and through other women. She was a leader as women successfully fought fearlessly for peace in Liberia.

Hand to Mouth: Living in Bootstrap America (2014) by Linda Tirado is one woman's story of what it is like to live in poverty in America. She knows from experience that people who haven't experienced poverty have a hard time wrapping their minds around the struggles of the poor. She uses her life as a case study to illustrate the complexities of life for those below the poverty line. She makes it clear that those of us above the poverty line have much to learn from the other side.

I'd Rather Teach Peace (2002) by Colman McCarthy is a journey through Colman's adventures in teaching nonviolence. When I was at the War Resisters League Conference in 2013 and asked folks there what I needed to know as I took on a new job in Social Action, I was told again and again to read this book. I now understand why. Colman reminds us that the work we do matters.

Half a Yellow Sun (2006) by Chimamanda Adichie is a powerful story of the Nigerian cil war. One of its messages is that no one is safe in war. It also shares complex stories of transformation. I began it years ago and gave up in the middle. This week I watched the far inferior movie, but the prospect of the richer written story compelled me to return to the book.

Homegoing: A Novel (2016) by Yaa Gyasi beautifully weaves together the stories of one African family and two separate branches of their family tree - one in the US and one in Ghana. Each chapter is from a new character's perspective (with the branches alternating chapters), always moving forward chronologically. I love how clearly it shows the impact of one generation on the next while also showing the power of individuals to break the cycle.

The Fire Next Time (1962) by James Baldwin is essentially the original Between the World and Me (and actually includes a line about "between the world and me"). It is a thoughtful analysis of the relationship between Blacks, Whites, and America from the 1960s. It is shocking how much of it is exactly the same today.

The Fire This Time (2016) was edited by Jesmyn Ward and is a collection of essays by some of the most inspiring writers of today. It answers the call of The Fire Next Time for a new generation. I love the connection I felt to the contributors as I read. They helped me know that as I struggle for justice and search for how my Light can be of use, I am in good company.

Underground Airlines (2016) by Ben Winters considers what life in the US would be like today if slavery had not been abolished. The sad conclusion is that the experience for free black people would not be that different. The book also leads us to ask how often we accept things we know are problematic because we feel as though we are not in a position to impact change. How often do we use policies as a shield to guard against our individual responsibility? 

Dear Committee Members (2014) by Julie Schumacher is a hilarious novel through letters that goes through the year of a snarky English professor. It brings to light many of the jokes we all know about academia while also just letting us enjoy what would happen if we did not have a filter!

How to Raise An Adult: Break Free of the Overpatenting Trap (2015) by Julie Lythcott-Haims was our staff summer read. I wasn't expecting to love this book since I'm not a parent, but it contained life lessons for everyone working with kids or even who are young adults themselves. It serves as a great reminder to focus on what's important and to not obsess over the small stuff. 

Harry Potter and the Cursed Child (2016) by J.K. Rowling, Jack Thorne, and John Tiffany is a delightful next chapter in the Harry Potter world. It brings characters we love back to life while also introducing the challenges of parenting/"adulting."

Faith, Courage, and Survival in a Time of Trouble (2005) was written by my friend France Pruitt (as told to Judy Priven) about her experience escaping the Holocaust with the help of generous souls in France who were willing to protect her family at their own high risk. It humanizes both World War II and the face of heroism.

TED Talks: The Official TED Guide to Public Speaking (2016) by Chris Anderson makes me deeply proud to be a part of the TED community. I read all the chapters about speaking before I gave my Ignite talk this spring, and it was incredibly useful in helping me to build my ideas into a talk that was as impactful as possible.

Underground Railroad (2016) by Colson Whitehead gets in the mud of not only slavery but the ways that the legacy of slavery are not easily escaped. Every chapter is brings new messy situations full of pain. It reminds me of the show Underground in the way that it makes its audience come to terms with the fact that there are no happy endings when life begins in slavery.

Black Panther: A Nation under Our Feet (2016) by Ta-Nehisi Coates was disappointing. It had some great one-liners about leadership, but the story was too confusing for me to get anything out of it. The original Black Panther comic from the 1960s that was included at the end was my favorite part!

This is Modern Art (2016) is a play by Kevin Coval and Idris Goodwin about the graffiti done on the outside of the the Chicago Museum of Modern Art in 2010. The play points to the fact that graffiti is a way of making one's presence known in a society that acts as though not all lives matter. It presents graffiti as a response to marginalization. I believe it raises important questions, and I enjoyed pondering them.

I read Kindred (1979) by Octavia Butler because I've been hearing about how important Octavia Butler's voice was in expanding the cultural space for black writers. Kindred itself is about a woman from 1976 who gets pulled through time to the ante-bellum South by one of her ancestors. It allows all of us a window into an ever-present question of how we might have fared in a previous time. It was not a comfortable read, but I enjoyed it more as I got to know the characters.

March:Book Three (2016) is the finale of John Lewis' trilogy about the Selma march and the Inauguration of Barack Obama. I am continually blown away by the bravery of civil rights icons. Amazing too that John Lewis led a sit-in as recently as this summer!

I read The Vegetarian (2007/2015 in English) by Han Kang (translated by Deborah Smith) because I kept hearing about how good it was. I'm a fan of closure and clarity, and this book does not have either of those as its goals. It does, however, provide very interesting food for thought about mental illness and family and societal values.

I absolutely love the poetry of Elizabeth Acevedo. She embodies exactly the kind of grounded strength to which I aspire. Her poetry collection Beastgirl and Other Origin Myths (2016) is as powerful as she is. And the cover has the most gorgeous art that I have ever seen on a book.

I've been reading B.J. Novak's One More Thing: Stories and Other Stories (2014) for longer than I had any business taking. He is hilarious and so is his book. Some of the stories are as short as two lines, and the longest is just over 15. It made for a great book to read on the Metro or in other moments when I had no mental energy but needed to entertain myself. I'll miss having it as a crutch in that way!

Joy!

Christmas is a season of joy. Joy is an important element to our achieving peace because joy allows us to be other-centered rather than self-centered. Joy is a state of being rather than a feeling; it runs deep. Joy is to happiness what kindness is to niceness. Joy and kindness take commitment. What they do not require is money. One of the most striking elements of my time in Tanzania last summer was when I met some of the most joyful women I've ever encountered, who were working at a seaweed farm.  They celebrated each action they took. They truly lived in the moment. I learned from them that mindfulness can nourish joy. The other greatest catalyst for joy that I have encountered is loving relationships. Pope Francis even named his April 2016 apostolic exhortation The Joy of Love.  Relationships can nourish our spirits, and joy lives in the spirit. Between Christmas and New Years is the perfect time to reflect on the mindfulness and love that we have allowed into our lives and to consider what we need in order to bring joy into the year ahead.

Here's a song to help the reflection.

It's my (vegetarian) anniversary!

Today is my 10th anniversary of being a vegetarian. I may be self-righteous about a lot of things, but because my vegetarianism was inspired by the book Skinny Bitch (which I cannot recommend), I could never feel morally superior about it. Despite its shady beginnings, it was the right choice for me and I have never looked back (except for one bite of a crab cake a month in, as I was deciding whether to become a pescatarian). As someone who doesn't cook, it has taken a village. My friends cook me vegetarian food, are patient through my reinventing restaurant menus, and help me find new vegetarian-friendly spots. I was a picky meat eater and going veggie has reduced my stress around food. It's been a delicious decade - here's to many more!

Words Matter

I've been reflecting recently on the power of the pen. This fall I had several alumnae who were visiting tell me that they have put the graduation notes that I wrote them up in their dorm rooms, and that they look to my notes in hard times. A current student told me that my report card comment about her made her cry because she found it so meaningful. What a tangible way to know that I make a difference. I blog to get myself to think as a writer, understanding the power of words. I'm a big believer in letting people know what I appreciate about them, and hearing from students is a good reminder that that connection can be particularly memorable on paper. That way the sentiment is not captured just in a moment, but in an artifact.

Bravery pays off

Looking back at the height of the Civil Rights Movement, I'm struck by the immense bravery it took to be successful. We must lean into discomfort. We must know the difference between being uncomfortable and unsafe. I'm okay with the light in me shining so intensely that people mistake it for fire! 

Good Trouble

Xenia Jardin wrote on Twitter, "Ever wonder what it'd be like to go back in time and help fight nazis? Support Civil Rights Era? Resist Native genocide? Now's your chance." I am trying to put my body and my voice where my heart and spirit are. I went recently to a Standing Rock protest, at which one of my favorite quotes was, "Get woke, stay woke." Especially for those of us in DC, there is no reason not to engage. There are new programs being offered every day. I'm in so many groups that talk about ideas, and now the key is to ACT! As John Lewis likes to say, it's time to make "good trouble."

Progress Isn't linear

In January of 2016, I began a post called, "On Star Wars, Hamilton and Embracing a New America." It was supposed to be about how much I appreciate seeing myself reflected in media lately. It included references to the new Mad Max, the new Star Wars, the new telling of the story of America through Hamilton, and the celebration of Eva Longoria and America Ferrera at the Golden Globes as the new Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. I felt so empowered, so much more a part of the fabric of our country than I ever had before. What a difference a year makes. This month's election makes the demographics that felt newly centered a year ago feel more marginalized than ever in my lifetime. We have to speak up just to declare that we will not tolerate hate. But looking back on this draft post reminds me to stay hopeful. We cannot rest in this fight for inclusion, equity, and liberation. As Ella Baker says, "We who believe in freedom cannot rest!"

Reframing Thanksgiving

• When I set up one of my online dating profiles, it asked what were the three things for which I am most grateful. I wrote:
• Having work that I enjoy and I know makes a differences
• Having friends who bring me joy and on whom I can count
• Having lots of love in my life

I would add to that list today that I am grateful for an empowering education. I am grateful to be surrounded by people who inspire me. I am grateful to have the courage of my convictions and opportunities to speak up and stand up. 

This year, given what is happening in Standing Rock, we cannot normalize Thanksgiving. It is appropriate to honor family and gratitude, but it is important to also honor the indigenous.  We owe it to them. Here's what I'm using to guide my action:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/help-standing-rock-sioux-dakota-access-pipeline_us_583480c9e4b000af95eca013

May Thanksgiving be a reminder of the American values with which Hamilton inspired us to connect.

Today I mailed my thank you note to HRC

Dear Hillary,

Being your Wellesley sister is one of the great joys of my life. You are a quintessential Wellesley woman with your intellect, confidence, and deep care for the world. I currently direct a social justice program at an all-girls school, and my students are primed to pick up the torch that you carried so powerfully. They, like you, are committed to love and justice and are willing to put in the hard work to build a more equitable world. In fact, when I was getting out the vote, I spoke often about how I support you because you have been working toward bring about the more loving and kind country that my students envision. Your work has been like a pebble creating a multitude of ripples beyond that which the eye can see. Your strength makes all of us just a little bit (and sometimes a whole lot) more brave. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

<3,

Lauren

Love Bullying

At work I have earned the nickname of the "Love Bully." What that captures is not only the fact that I love intensely, but also that I actively wield my love as a force (ideally for good). In the past couple days, I have deeply appreciated that so many of my friends have served as active allies, using their love as a balm for my pain. I believe in God as a spirit of love, and I have never felt more surrounded by that love. I have also been deeply inspired by my former students, true forces of nature for love, who shared messages such as:

• "I am trying very hard to focus on my energy on being motivated to continue fighting for what I know is right."
• "I will NEVER stop fighting against hate . . . and neither will you. We can do this!"
• "This troubling time in many of our lives gives us the unique opportunity to take this anger that we are feeling and instead be the positive change we wish to see in this world. Together we are very powerful, and we can never forget that."

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. said that, "Power at its best is love implementing the demands of justice, and justice at its best is power correcting everything that stands against love." Let's unleash all of our love bully power onto the world. And let's keep giving each other the strength to do it. We rise up stronger together.

Where is our power?

I went to Debbie Allen's Freeze Frame . . . Stop the Madness show at the Kennedy Center this weekend. It offered a powerful glimpse into the pain and complexities of gun violence. Afterward there was a panel discussion on the power of the arts to be transformative. Here were some of the ideas that stuck with me:

Debbie Allen:
"Sandy Hook compelled me to use my gifts to do something."
We need to say "change is right now!"
John F. Kennedy would said that the artists are the truthtellers.
Creativity is spiritual, purposeful. It offers confidence, discipline, expression.
"We all have to move together." The abolition of slavery was accomplished by people of different backgrounds working together.
"Let's make this happen."

Phylicia Rashad:
Creative expression is important in human beings realizing their potential.
How can we guard against being scarred by the ignorance of others?
The greatest power we have is the moral authority of art and our voices.
The moral conscious is shaped in the form of a story.

Nicole Hockley from Sandy Hook Promise:
"My son is my butterfly."
Reach people at home. Policy will follow.
It's not just the NRA we have to fight against, it's our own apathy and complacency.

Whoopi Goldberg:
"If we don't, who will? It's just us, y'all."
How do we use technology to engage students in affecting policy?

Kayla Hicks from Education Fund to Stop Gun Violence:
The fund runs a program to turn education to action in schools
If policy doesn't change, everything stays the same.

Performers:
One 16 year old blew us all away when he talked about the similarity between Caesar Augustus, with his turning Rome into an empire, and Trump.

Students of color need to be taught a narrative in which they are more than an oppressed people, so that students can feel a sense of "You are somebody."
Everybody says somebody needs to do something about this. You are that somebody.

Poetry

This historical moment is beyond prose. It takes poetry to capture its power and the pain. Here's one that lifted my spirits recently:

"The Low Road" 
by Marge Piercy

What can they do to you?
Whatever they want..

They can set you up, bust you,
they can break your fingers,
burn your brain with electricity,
blur you with drugs till you
can’t walk, can’t remember.
they can take away your children,
wall up your lover;
they can do anything you can’t stop them doing.

How can you stop them?
Alone you can fight, you can refuse.
You can take whatever revenge you can
But they roll right over you.
But two people fighting back to back
can cut through a mob
a snake-dancing fire
can break a cordon,
termites can bring down a mansion

Two people can keep each other sane
can give support, conviction,
love, massage, hope, sex.

Three people are a delegation
a cell, a wedge.
With four you can play games
and start a collective.
With six you can rent a whole house
have pie for dinner with no seconds
and make your own music.

Thirteen makes a circle,
a hundred fill a hall.
A thousand have solidarity
and your own newsletter;
ten thousand community
and your own papers;
a hundred thousand,
a network of communities;
a million our own world.

It goes one at a time.
It starts when you care to act.
It starts when you do it again
after they say no.
It starts when you say we
and know who you mean;
and each day you mean
one more.

Wow

In her book Help, Thanks, Wow, Anne Lamott reflects on our being able to see God in the world. I often take pictures when I am spiritually moved by nature. Being surrounded by nature not only brings me joy, but it also reminds me that I am a part of something bigger than myself. It can be a hike, seeing animals I'm not accustomed to, and especially a beautiful sky. Water can immediately bring me peace. Here are some of my glimpses of God in nature: https://goo.gl/photos/3rtfuvfhrSadnmZAA.

World Teacher Day Reflection

I love being a teacher. From the moment I first found out that I would get to teach a class, that became an important identity to me. What it means has evolved over the years. It first felt like a responsibility to just tell great stories. Then I understood it to mean empowering students to think. My next phase was believing that it was my responsibility to help students pair thought and action. Now my goal is to support students in using their knowledge of my subject to become most fully themselves and stand in their own power. They keep me hopeful that we can change the world!

Social Action Opening Remarks

It’s good to be back doing this work of the heart.

As we embark upon this new year, it’s important to reflect upon how the Social Action program is cumulative. Those of us who were here last year were invited to consider the peacemakers around us and reflect upon how we could take up the important work of building a more just and peaceful world.

This year we get to apply all of that as we learn about the ways that the world needs us.

Last winter there was an article in Heart magazine, the RSCJ journal, entitled “Recognizing and honoring the divine in a world out of balance.” It was written by the RSCJ Representative to the UN, Sister Cecile Meijer. She wrote that, “A colleague once called our work [at the UN] “putting the Beatitudes in action.”  

In her article she addresses questions that we are primed to explore this year, such as “Where is our focus on the common good in such a world out of balance? How can we concretely live out our preferential option for the poor, recognizing on a daily basis the human dignity of each person? How do we recognize and honor the divine in all of creation?” She reminds us that “If justice is understood in the biblical sense of right relationships, tangible love and respect express themselves as justice, mercy and humility.”

Today’s theme is Partnerships for the Goals, which is way of reminding us to enter this year of Social Action with humility. Partnerships signal that we know we cannot go it alone. One of the criteria of Goal Three is that “The school is linked in a reciprocal manner with ministries among people who are poor, marginalized and suffering from injustice.” We may have time and talents to share in support of those on the margins, but we are failing to be transformed if we do not just as actively recognize the light of God in every person we encounter and reflect on what they have to share with us in turn.

An Australian aboriginal activist group once powerfully stated, "If you have come here to help me, you are wasting your time. But if you have come because your liberation is bound up with mine, then let us work together.” Pope Francis expressed a similar sentiment when he said, “We need to strengthen the conviction that we are one single human family,” to which Sister Meijer added that we cannot allow leaving anyone behind.

And so today we begin our journey of envisioning ourselves as global citizens, reminding ourselves that it is our mission to bring the heart of Christ into the world.

Toasting the Power of Love

Last weekend after a dinner with my brother and his fiancee, I posted a picture with the caption, “I love spending time with couples that bring intensely beautiful love into the world. The world needs it.” I continued to feel both of those sentiments throughout this week. The country has been in a lot of pain, and it’s hard not to internalize it. And yet, I always come back to the Martin Luther King’s quote, “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” I believe in the power of love to change the world. Love pulls out the best in us and pushes us to share the light within us. Love transcends our differences. I knew that deeply from the time that I was little and I had a brother who seemed to be my opposite. For his popularity with his peers, I had popularity with my teachers. He excelled in sports and I excelled in service. And while I can’t say that we kept a classy appreciation for our differences growing up, once I went to college, we appreciated what it meant that he was the yin to my yang. My proof of my love for my brother comes in the form of a January 2004 journal entry in which I wrote, “Oh God. my brother did come in [from vacation] today like he was supposed to. Not a good combination with watching the Ring. I am so creeped out. He had better be fine. He is my m...f...ing partner in crime.” My proof that the feeling was mutual came when he included on his senior page of his high school yearbook that I was his best friend. And while I still have moments when I realize how different we are, like when I looked at his Twitter feed and I didn’t even recognize it as the same program that I have because his is all celebrities and sports and mine is all news and social justice organizations, we are also now well practiced in making sure that the other knows that no matter what the world throws our way, we have a built-in buddy ready to have our back and remind us of our light. Along the way we became a full posse with our step-siblings, and our “blended family”’s love was even featured on the Today show. And just when I thought it didn’t get any better than that, I met sister-in-law. I have cried multiple times telling my new sister about my love at first site for her. I had heard my brother talking about how spectacular and transformative she was for months before I met her. But as I’ve shared, my brother and I don’t always see eye to eye, so I wasn’t sold. And then I met her, and she is warm and funny and sharp and authentic, and on top of all of those reasons why I LOVE her, she also reflects my brother’s light back to him as strongly as he had been describing her light to me. They share a love that makes each of them most fully themselves that and catalyzes the spark of passion in their hearts into a flame. Dorothy Day wrote, “The greatest challenge of the day is: How to bring about a revolution of the heart, a revolution which has to start with each one of us?”  My brother and his new wife are showing us the way. And so I toast to them and to a world that is more filled with the love and passion that they model for us us all.

The Power of Ideas

I'm coming away from Chris Anderson's TED Talks: The official TED Guide to Public Speaking inspired to use my voice to help shape the world. Here are some of its reminders of the power that we each possess:

"Life is fleeting. Ideas, inspiration, and love endure." (v)

"If I'm beaming, I will make you smile inside. Just a bit. But a meaningful bit." (49)

"When you laugh with someone, you both feel you're on the same side. It's a fantastic tool for building a connection." (53)

"Start a fire that will spread new wisdom far and wide." (248)

What it all boils down to

We're talking a lot this year at school about enduring understandings. Today a student stopped by my office to say that she got this for me over the summer because it reminded her of me. Even if this were the only lesson I ever taught, I would consider my career a success.

How to Raise an Adult

How to Raise an Adult  by Julie Lythcott-Haims had some great food for thought for schools, including:

"Yes we dream of our selves, of what we will become . . . but it's the environment that tells us what is possible." (38)

"Has sidling right up alongside our kid and making them the center of our world become a measure of how much we love them? If so, is it our love we're wearing on our sleeve, or our neediness?" (54)

"Schools that do not provide strong, clear boundaries between pedagogy and parents can suffer serious consequences (which means, of course, that student learning suffers)." (63)

"when the teachable moments go untaught, what our kids get in exchange is the moral or ethical shortcomings that come from getting away with stuff." (65)

Overparenting [or overadvising] happens "when our parenting behavior is motivated by our own ego." (94)

Authoritative parenting [or teaching/school leadership] is "demanding and responsive. These parents set high standards, expectations, and limits, which they uphold with consequences. They are also emotionally warm, and responsive to their child's emotional needs. They reason with their kids, engaging in a give-and-take for the sake of learning. They give their child freedom to explore, to fail,and to make their own choices." (148)

"Flow is the the things we feel, or the place we're in, when we're interested in or talented at something and the challenge or situation is just slightly beyond our current capacity . . . When we're 'in flow,' the challenge we're facing slightly exceeds our skill level, and striving to keep at it, we lose track of time, don't notice our hunger or tiredness, and feel like what we're doing could go on and on and on. We're intrinsically motived -- whatever we're doing becomes its own reward . . . Noticing when we're in flow means noticing what we love doing." (158-9)

"Perfectionism is not only the enemy of the good; it is the enemy of adulthood." (174)

"you can help kids get to the heart of understanding a matter by asking them the question 'why?' five times." (182)

"an airline's worst-case-scenario directive about putting on your own oxygen mask before helping others is extremely practical advice for living life generally." (277)

"Happiness equals love -- full stop. (George Vaillant)" (281)

Why I teach Genocide Studies

“I have come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element. It is my personal approach that creates the climate. It is my daily mood that makes the weather. I possess tremendous power to make life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration, I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis is escalated or de-escalated, and a person is humanized or de-humanized. If we treat people as they are, we make them worse. If we treat people as they ought to be, we help them become what they are capable of becoming.”

– Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832)

“I am done with great things and big things, great institutions and big success, and I am for those tiny, invisible molecular moral forces that work from individual to individual, creeping through the crannies of the world like so many rootlets, or like the capillary oozing of water, yet which if you give them time, will rend the hardest monuments of man's pride.”

― William James (1842-1910)

“First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out—

Because I was not a Socialist.

Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out—

Because I was not a Trade Unionist.

Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out—

Because I was not a Jew.

Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.”

- Martin Niemöller (1946)

“This hour in history needs a dedicated circle of transformed nonconformists.  Our planet teeters on the brink of atomic annihilation; dangerous passions of pride, hatred, and selfishness are enthroned in our lives; truth lies prostrate on the rugged hills of nameless calvaries; and men do reverence before false gods of nationalism and materialism.  The saving of our world from pending doom will come, not through the complacent adjustment of the conforming majority, but through the creative maladjustment of a nonconforming minority.”

- Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., 1954

“ Courage and confidence! I cannot repeat this war-cry too often.”

- Madeleine Sophie Barat

You choose your attitude

Love Cory Booker for his reminders that we may not be able to control what happens to us, but can control how it shapes us. 

Cartwheels

This summer I learned how to cartwheel. I decided that I wanted that to be a goal of my summer, I found some coaches, did lots of practice, and got better every time. It was such a beautiful metaphor. There are lots of things that we may not know how to do and  we can be embarrassed by our ignorance - sometimes too embarrassed to ask for help. My willingness to try something new (publicly, cause there's no where all that private to practice cartwheels when you live in an apartment building!) and to keep at it until it was not so embarrassing is a process I hope to repeat for future ventures that take me outside of my comfort zone!

The More Things Change . . .

I'm struck by how similar James Baldwin's analysis of America is to what we hear (and witness!) about America today. Some of the lines that stand most out to me from The Fire Next Time (1962 - Vintage International) are:

• "We have not stopped trembling yet, but if we had not loved each other none of us would have survived. And now you must survive because we love you, and for the sake of your children and your children's children." (7)
• "There is no reason for you to try to become like white people and there is no basis whatever for their impertinent assumption that they must accept you. The really terrible thing, old buddy, is that you must accept them. And I mean that very seriously. You must accept them and accept them with love. For these innocent people have no other hope. They are, in effect, still trapped in a history which they do not understand; and until they understand it, they cannot be released from it. They have had to believe for many years, and for innumerable reasons, that black men are inferior to white men. Many of them, indeed, know better, but, as you will discover, people find it very difficult to act on what they know.To act is to be committed, and to be committed is to be in danger." (8-9)
• "we, with love, shall force our brothers to see themselves as they are, to cease fleeing from reality and begin to change it." (10)
• "We cannot be free until they are free." (10)
• "White people in this country will have quite enough to do in learning how to accept and love themselves and each other, and when they have achieved this - which will not be tomorrow and may very well be never - the Negro problem will no longer exist, for it will no longer be needed." (22)
• "If the concept of God has any validity or any use, it can only be to make us larger, freer, and more loving." (47)
• "a civilization is not destroyed by wicked people; it is not necessary that people be wicked but only that they be spineless." (55)
• "To accept one's past - one's history - is not the same thing as drowning in it; it is learning how to use it." (81)
• "Whoever debases others is debasing himself." (83)
• "The price of the liberation of the white people is the liberation of the blacks - the total liberation, in the cities, in the towns, before the law, and in the mind." (97)
• "Color is not a human or a personal reality; it is a political reality." (104)
• "in our time, as in every time, the impossible is the least that one can demand - and one is, after all, emboldened by the spectacle of human history in general, and American Negro history in particular, for it testifies to nothing less than the perpetual achievement of the impossible." (104)

Tragedy and Prayer

While reading Seeking the One Whom We Love: How RSCJs Pray, the words of Sister Gimber stood out to me. She wrote, "Sometimes I recite the psalms of the Office in the name of suffering people whom I don't know and will never meet, but whose stories are reported at every turn. It is a way of extending my prayer to a world beyond and of keeping me aware of that world beyond my own limited circle."

I often consider how to address the tragedies that come far too often. It seems unhelpful to state again and again either generically that we share our thoughts and prayers or the obvious fact that our thoughts and prayers are not enough. However, the precision of her prayer seems more significant. I had the idea that I too could hold up a specific prayer for each tragedy of the world that needs attention. The reflection that it will take to find a prayer that matches what is in my heart will honor the victim(s). And if I keep a running list of these prayers on my blog, they will be a ever-present reminder of all the prayer that the world needs. I believe that it is a respectful and tangible way to manifest my care and concern.

8/20/16:
Tragedy: https://mic.com/articles/152097/trans-rights-activist-hande-kader-was-raped-and-burned-to-death-in-turkey
Prayer: Lyrics from "Come Sunday": Lord, dear Lord above, God almighty,
God of love, Please look down and see my people through

9/12/16:
Tragedy: https://mic.com/articles/153970/a-traditionally-dressed-muslim-woman-was-set-on-fire-in-possible-hate-crime-in-nyc#.PuRUIJHG9
Prayer: Dear God, let me be a drop in an ocean of love that showers upon the Muslim community.

9/13/16:

Tragedy: http://www.fox10tv.com/story/33074252/deputy-transgender-woman-stabbed-119-times

Prayer: Dear God, let my intolerance of hatred be like a stone with powerful ripples out into the world. 

Camp

I've spent much of this summer traveling around a variety of camps, and I have loved it. It was striking how much the camps I visited shared the qualities that I most appreciated about my camp experiences as a camper, counselor and director. I think the key to a quality camp experience is that it offers opportunities to challenge oneself and try new things - to be vulnerable in a safe space. It should also offer rich opportunities for bonding with both campers and staff. Finally, the staff's role is to be an affirming presence in the camper's camp life. It strikes me that the exploration, connection and affirmation of are pretty similar to what JoAnn Deak describes as the core pillars of "competence, confidence and connection" in her book How Girls Thrive. It's no surprise that kids thrive at camp!

Experiment with Light

Every time I do the guided meditation Experiment with Light, I am grateful for the journey inward. The prompts ask just the right questions and leave just enough time for me to go beyond whatever has been on my mind that week. It has led me to make some real changes in my life (like how I run groups and how much sleep I get) because it is more than my passing thoughts. It is an examination of what is in my spirit.

Today I considered how I can do intentional evening planning for the day ahead to ensure that I have time to meaningfully read and write and make progress toward my short and long term goals as well as begin and end each day by making room for nurturing my Light. This will allow me to effectively prioritize and center my light instead of my ego or the distractions that inevitably arise.

Be the heroes

Mr. Rogers said, ""When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, 'Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping."  I'd like to push that one step further to encourage each of us to consider how we can be that helper, be the one to represent hope. Courage is contagious, and it's up to each of us to be the spark. And if at first we don't succeed, we just have to keep pushing ourselves. Maya Angelou wrote, "When you know better, do better." Mistakes don't let us off the hook. They are all the more reason to lean in, to learn from our failures, and to come out the other side stronger. That is how we honor the light within ourselves and each other.

Leaning In

As a pacifist and progressive, I find much of American politics problematic. I used to do a lot of complaining about how I just wasn't proud to be an American. More recently, I have chosen instead to dive into the muck and engage wholeheartedly in the process. That being said, in a brilliant, powerful, inspirational convention speech by a man I am deeply proud to call my President, my favorite quote was this: 

"[Hillary Clinton] knows she’s made mistakes, just like I have; just like we all do. That’s what happens when we try. That’s what happens when you’re the kind of citizen Teddy Roosevelt once described – not the timid souls who criticize from the sidelines, but someone 'who is actually in the arena…who strives valiantly; who errs…[but] who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement.' Hillary Clinton is that woman in the arena. She’s been there for us – even if we haven’t always noticed. And if you’re serious about our democracy, you can’t afford to stay home just because she might not align with you on every issue. You’ve got to get in the arena with her, because democracy isn’t a spectator sport."

We can all relate. None of us is perfect. Yes, politicians should be held to a high standard, but they are also still human. We just need to keep holding the mirror back up to them, not letting them off the hook. When we see greatness, perfection should not be our standard. Goodness may be the enemy of greatness, but so is perfection. Let's just keep moving forward, acknowledging that mistakes will be made along the way, and promising to learn from them.

We're with Her

DNC 2016

"We are not called on to be a nation of tolerance. We are called on to be a nation of love." - Cory Booker
"When we are indivisible, we are invincible" - Cory Booker
"[O]ur motto is, when they go low, we go high." - Michelle Obama
"And as my daughters prepare to set out into the world, I want a leader who is worthy of that truth, a leader who is worthy of my girls’ promise and all our kids’ promise, a leader who will be guided every day by the love and hope and impossibly big dreams that we all have for our children." - Michelle Obama

Between tonight's speeches and the filibuster and sit-in earlier this summer, I've never been prouder to be a Democrat.

And now, as Michelle Obama says, "We need to knock on every door, we need to get out every vote, we need to pour every last ounce of our passion and our strength and our love for this country into electing Hillary Clinton as president of the United States of America! So let’s get to work." <3

I'm inspired to put in the work to get out the vote. It is the only way.

Making Lemonade

I know I'm behind the times, but I just watched Beyonce's Lemonade film for the first time and I found it incredibly moving. My understanding was that the album and video were about infidelity. Watching the film, I think the meaning is much deeper. Beyonce said earlier this year to Elle, "I hope I can create art that helps people heal. Art that makes people feel proud of their struggle." I now believe that the whole piece is more broadly about struggle. The women of color that she features in the film are those who have engaged in their own beautiful and powerful struggles. They are women that society has tried to silence, and they are having none of it. There is also an underlying current throughout the film about the marginalization of black women in general, juxtaposed to Beyonce's repetition of the fact that she "slays" and a focus on her strength. This piece struck me in a way similar to Hamilton. It is extremely meaningful to have one of the most powerful (black) women in the world owning her identity in a manner that is radical and revolutionary. Her music is an extension of political stands she has made both last year and this year. She makes me proud of her, myself, and our people. 

The Plan

How a love revolution could change the world:

Social media during hard times

The world is beautiful and tragic and so are the tools of social media. Being behind a screen can make us cowards or can help strengthen us to speak truth to power - we must lean into the discomfort of difficult conversations. When we don't have the challenging conversations, it's hard for progress to be made. Sometimes that means sparking conversation and sometimes it means responding to something, but either way, we should empower ourselves and each other to be respectful, authentic, and brave with our social media presence.

Indifference Is Dangerous

Query: how do we best visibly and vocally stand in solidarity with victims of violence around the world?

http://www.nytimes.com/2016/07/06/world/europe/muslims-baghdad-dhaka-istanbul-terror.html

Some days I'm proud to be an American

Barack Obama made me feel genuinely proud to be an American for the first time in my life. Hillary makes me feel the same. While I don't support either of them BECAUSE of their identities, our overlapping core identifiers do help me to  feel empowered and like I have a place at the American table. Our next step as a nation is an intellectual investment in intersectionality. We currently hear much more about it in our media than in our politics. We bring our identities into all we do, we may as well acknowledge them!

Practice the global locally

How we define local is up to us. Michael Jackson said he was starting with the man in the mirror. Mother Teresa wrote, “Love begins at home, and it is not how much we do... but how much love we put in that action.” However we do it, we must attend to our inward lives before we can make a difference to the rest of the world.

Lessons from the Class of 2016

Never underestimate the power of students. They will rise to your expectations. 

Pay love forward. When you are lucky enough to be made to feel loved, make sure that everyone around you is that lucky as well. That is a power we all possess. 

I believe in a thing called love

I believe in the power of love to make the world a better place. I believe in Madeleine Sophie’s words, "Let your heart be more attentive than your head, for the Holy Spirit is love, and to take hold, it is more important to love than to understand.” I believe in Lin-Manuel Miranda’s words, "love last longer. And love is love is love is love is love is love is love is love." I believe in Mother Teresa’s words, “Love has to be put into action and that action is service.”  I believe in Cornel West’s words, "justice is what love looks like in public.” I only hope that my actions speak loud and proud to the strength of my love. As William Penn said, “Let us then try what love will do.”

Teaching as Soul Nourishment

I have the honor of working with students who care about what we do. It occurred to me today that I hadn't told students their grades for either of our major projects this semester. Never once did they ask me about a grade. For one of the big projects that we did in the fall, when I gave them their grades in class at the end of the semester, their response was, "Huh, we were graded on that?" I tell them that the work we are doing in the course is about changing the world and they accept that. Today is the Feast Day of our founding Mother, and I can't help but think that she would be proud of what we're doing at SR. We are teaching students to be deeply invested in the world around them. I love having a job that I genuinely believe in; I love that my personal and professional sense of fulfillment can be so much in sync.

Intrinsic vs Extrinsic Motivation

When it comes to fundraising/drives, extrinsic motivation is easier to achieve and can produce a bigger short-term impact. Intrinsic motivations takes the long view and is about transformation. Intrinsic motivation is the best practice of service learning. It can sometimes be hard for students to understand, so it is important to continue to ask them to consider the end goal. It helps that we have a shared vision.

When I need self-affirmation

On Stripping Bark from Myself 

(For Jane, Who Said Trees Die From It)

by Alice Walker

Because women are expected to keep silent about

Their close escapes, I will not keep silent

And if I am destroyed (naked tree!) someone will please

Mark the spot where I fall and know I could not live

Silent in my own lies

Hearing their "how nice she is!"

Whose adoration of the retouched image

I so despise.

No.  I am finished with living

For what my mother believes

For what my father and brother defend

For what my lover elevates

For what my sister, blushing, denies or rushes to embrace.

I find my own

Small person

A standing self

Against the world; an equality of wills

I finally understand.

Besides:

My struggle was always against

An inner darkness: I carry within myself

The only known keys

To my death -- to unlock life, or close it shut forever.

A woman who loves wood grains, the color yellow

And the sun, I am happy to fight

All outside murderers

As I see I must.

Me Time

Although I get lots of energy from other people, sometimes I need an evening alone to recharge.

Today I attended a meditation for nonviolence training and heard this Thomas Merton quote that led me to reflect on the significance of taking time out to be with myself:

“There is a pervasive form of contemporary violence to which the idealist most easily succumbs: activism and overwork. The rush and pressure of modern life are a form, perhaps the most common form, of its innate violence. To allow oneself to be carried away by a multitude of conflicting concerns, to surrender to too many demands, to commit oneself to too many projects, to want to help everyone in everything, is to succumb to violence. The frenzy of our activism neutralizes our work for peace. It destroys our own inner capacity for peace. It destroys the fruitfulness of our own work, because it kills the root of inner wisdom which makes work fruitful.”

Update 8/1/16: Today's entry in Meditations for Women Who Do Too Much by Anne Wilson Schaef includes, "how long has it been since we have let ourselves hear the song of the task we are doing? When we do too much, we lose our joy in the doing and see only the labor and the deadlines. Even when we do not see the song in our work, it is still there. We have but to listen." Me time lets me listen.