Lessons from 2015

I had a phenomenal 2015! I got to have many special experiences and I learned a great deal.

I had the opportunity to meet with many people that I now consider to be heroes of mine and who helped to prove that the impossible is always achievable in time. These exemplars included the people and leaders I met in Rwanda, civil rights leaders Julian Bond and John Lewis, the incredible women in Ireland who went on strike until Ireland stood against apartheid, and current activists I got to hear from including Rosa Clemente, Bryan Stevenson, and Ta-Nehisi Coates. I also got to hear the stories of incredible changemakers at the ADL Concert Against Hate, all of whom fought against the odds to act meaningfully for peace and love. I also got to participate in projects that seemed impossible at the start. SR's TEDx took huge amounts of time and stretched me in important ways, which made its great success feel all the more rewarding. Similarly, I worked in the winter to put together the Coalition of Local Student Activists. Other social justice educators in the area and I had an idea of crafting a collaboration between our students to give them a voice to speak out about injustice, and it worked. The result was that COLSA students led SR through a powerful week of awareness raising about Black Lives Matter and Baltimore.

I experienced art that moved me this year. Whether it was great concerts (Ed Sheeran, Neon Trees, Sweey Honey in the Rock), comedy (Trevor Noah, Drag Race Battle of the Seasons Tour), film (Chi-Raq, Creed, The Danish Girl), literature (Citizen), or the life-changing Hamilton, art this year brought me joy and helped me think deeply. And I integrated daily poetry into my life. I found that poetry is a means of enriching my spirituality, and I used poems to bookend my days and my connect me to my Light.

My trips to Spain, Tanzania, and Rwanda taught me how important it is to learn from the rest of the world. Before I got to Spain, I hadn't been excited about the trip. I didn't know much about Spain, and I didn't think it had a rich history that I could connect with. Instead, I discovered my love of flamenco, cathedrals, and Don Quixote. Tanzania was so full of joy and beauty. Rwanda gave me heart; it is the physical manifestation of all that I believe in.

This was the year that I developed routines for reading, writing, and meditating. It is the year that I wholeheartedly committed to sleeping. And I learned to run for fun through running with the cross country team and with Adult Running Club. I took an amazing "Habits of Writing" class through which I learned about how habits develop by intentionality. With intentionality and practice, there are no limits to what I am capable of.

This year I developed a deeper sense of the power of my voice. I have started to blog more regularly, and I put my blog on my Twitter and Facebook accounts so that people would know about it. I was already proud of my Twitter account as a way for me to spread love and inspiration, and my blog builds on that foundation using my own words. I also had rich opportunities for leadership this year in arenas that I care about. Being on the QPIN Steering Committee is the most tangible foothold I've had in the Palestinian rights movement. My being asked to serve as co-clerk of one of the SSFS board committees was also a real confidence boost in knowing that my voice is valued.

I had a few needed retreats.  The school offered a retreat focused on spirituality and the reflection that I was able to do at that retreat helped to fuel the rest of my year. Similarly, I had the chance to go to the Catholic Social Ministry Gathering, which deepened my understanding of and commitment to Catholic Social Teaching. I now have every confidence that the social justice work that I do for SR is rooted in our Catholic mission. Through the CSMG and the retreat, I was able to form a vision of our next steps with Social Action and I got that vision approved. I also crafted my own yoga retreat in both the summer and the last week of the year, taking a yoga class every day and being reminded of my strength and my peace.

There is nothing that I believe in more than the power of love. My faith in love was renewed time and again this year. Whether I was spending time with my fabulous family or one of my amazing non-traditional families, I was stronger for having such impressive teams in my corner. My best friend got married and I got to be her maid of honor - what an honor indeed! I don't know that I have ever experienced joy quite so wholly as I did at her wedding. Is there a purer form of love than what we get to see at weddings? Perhaps best of all was an article in the school paper about my commitment to love and joy. It ended with: "In our community, everyone is affectionately familiar with Ms. Brownlee’s theory that love is always the answer. However, we often take that lesson in stride, not dismissing it, but just accepting it as part of Ms. Brownlee’s identity and not part of our own; it’s her “thing.” Here’s the wild conclusion that I came to after speaking with Ms. Brownlee: joy is not exclusive. Finding the same amount of joy in a salad as in a trip to Rwanda does not diminish your joy, it merely increases your opportunities to be joyous."

 May 2016 be as positive and productive.

Framily

I learned the term "framily" this week - the family we make of our friends. I have several distinct "framilies," or what I like to call "non-traditional families." I loved the film Eat, Pray, Love because it featured framilies in a way that was familiar to me. Love can take so many forms and any time it is unconditional, that is family to me, whether or not we are related. I love both Wellesley and SR because of the sisterhood/siblinghood that they cultivate, and I even love watching brotherhood portrayed in shows like Entourage and Sons of Anarchy. We are at our strongest when we can feel the support of a community behind us.

I Saw Hamilton and I Feel Renewed

I saw Hamilton and it felt I began a new chapter of my life. Immediately afterward, I announced that I would never feel satisfied again without Hamilton in my life. I've been filling the hole that the musical created by listening to the soundtrack and reading everything about both the show and the history that I can get my hands on. Everything I read supports my feelings about the show. Lin-Manuel Miranda is (certifiably) a genius. He also has a community orientation. The success of Hamilton feels like not just his success, but all of our success. And that comes not only from a powerful and powerfully told story, but also from Lin's sharing it with those who stand to benefit from it, both the lovers of theater, lovers of rap and history, and students. Hamilton is the story of us, which is all the more significant because the story of America is rarely told so inclusively.

Here are the themes I loved from it:
- Revolution: The musical argues that revolution is terribly important in the face of oppression. It also portrays the complexities of revolution and the other side of revolution - the creation of a new society. As George Washington says in one of the songs, "Winning was easy, young man. Governing's harder."

- America's identity: The cast and music of this show reflects the diversity of the United States today. It also explores the values on which the US was founded, values rooted the dignity of all people that we could use a reminder of today.

- Ideals of democracy and their challenges: Many of the questions being decided early in the US's democracy are still questions we ponder today: What are the qualities of the leaders we want? Can we be easily charmed by political charlatans? Where is the line between the agency of states versus the federal government? How much support should we offer foreign allies? There were no easy answers then as remains the case today. One important moment from this period that continues to set the standard is Washington's decision to relinquish his power and allow for a smooth transition to the next president.

- Believing in something and never giving up: Probably Hamilton's defining characteristic was his relentless persistence. While not a universally positive trait, it does allow him to achieve many of his dreams and helps him to build a country he could be proud of. The Burr of Hamilton is not the villain because he kills Hamilton so much as because he refused to stand for anything.

- Immigration and slavery: Hamilton and Lafayette are proud to be immigrants shaping the US (a reference to which apparently gets long applause each line). Hamilton and John Laurens fight against slavery, and then Hamilton's widow continues to fight for the abolition of slavery to honor Hamilton's memory after he dies.

- Writing: The other thing that Hamilton is most well known for is his prodigious writing. He wrote literally thousands of pages over the course of his lifetime. He used writing to express his feelings and his insights. His writing was persuasive and helped him to shape the early United States. One of the lines that stuck with me was "How do you write like you need it to survive?" Reminds me of my blog post from this fall about how writing is one of my "five to stay alive."

- Friendship: No man is an island. Hamilton's friends all brought something to the table in helping America to win the Revolutionary War. His friendship with and mentoring by George Washington was also hugely important to his growth over the years.

- Different types of love: Love of all kinds (friendship included) is at the heart of this story. The Schuyler sisters love for each other is sustaining for them, and that gets transferred to Hamilton and his relationship with both his wife and her sister. The importance of one's nuclear family and the inspiration that family provides is also one of the themes of the story.

- Forgiveness: Hamilton made very human mistakes. His wife forgives him for his affair. Burr cannot forgive Hamilton and the story ends with his regretting that.

Hamilton had what I can only imagine is a lifelong impact on me. It asks that we bring out best selves to all we do, keeping in mind the impact that we have on others. I could not recommend it more highly! Check it out at http://atlanticrecords.com/HamiltonMusic and http://genius.com/albums/Lin-manuel-miranda/Hamilton-original-broadway-cast-recording.

Azar Nafisi

Over Thanksgiving break, I went to a book talk by Azar Nafisi about her new book Republic of Imagination about how the US has shaped and been shaped by literature. She is a force of nature and an inspiration. Here were the quotes I wrote down during her talk.

• "Hope is always defiant" 
• We are taught that reality is static, but reality is fragile
• You have to keep your dignity by becoming more yourself
• Oppression, violence to anyone decreases my dignity. We are all implicated. 
• We are withdrawing within ourselves because we feel helpless. Instead, we should come out!
• The great writers write about "us." They tell human stories. 
• Like Dorothy, we go to other worlds to come back with fresh eyes
• American literature is about underdogs who refuse to be underdogs
• We watch the Republican debates so we can laugh. This [political landscape] is no laughing matter. 
• Activism - You complain because you care so much about a place
• Governments come and go, only the trace of genius remains. 

Nafisi is without a doubt a genius.

Yoga

I love yoga for the way that it brings together two of my daily focuses - movement and spirituality. Yoga helps me to feel a connection to and an awareness of my body. Through yoga, I now think about how I'm sitting, I think about how I'm walking, and I feel as though I can help my body to be its best self. The sense of empowerment that I feel in yoga class stays with me in the rest of my life. And it's not just me, yoga's benefits have been scientifically proven: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/yoga/CM00004

Movies that Moved Me

This weekend I saw two movies this weekend that will stick with me for a long time.

The first is Creed. I haven't seen any of the Rocky movies for years, but I went because I love Michael B Jordan, and the movie was well reviewed. Creed fully exceeded my expectations. It broke stereotypes by having Michael B Jordan's character not come to boxing through necessity, but for pure love. He is a fully developed character who left a corporate job and life in a mansion to pursue his passion. He is a young black male who finds a mentor in an aging Rocky. It is particularly beautiful because their relationship is reciprocal. And - spoiler alert - the phenomenal ending includes the lesson that even in losing one can be a winner. It is a story that truly spoke to me. It had so much heart.

I also watched Tangerine, which is a film shot entirely on iPhones. It is a story about transgender prostitutes in LA. It leads its audience into a fully realized world that most of us don't know very much about. The movie challenges our expectations. Again, spoiler alert, I love that the main character is made to seem silly for thinking that her boyfriend, a pimp, genuinely cares about her, but then at the end she is vindicated as his feelings are revealed to be just as enthusiastic as hers. What dynamic characters! In scene after scene, we are introduced to new transgender women with whom the main characters are friends. It's fabulous that so many of the women are transgender actresses being provided with opportunities, and that the two lead actresses are being nominated for awards. The film and its accolades are a sign of the world becoming more accepting and I love it.

Coaching

Today when I arrived at the Adult Running Club, I was called to not run but "coach." One of my friends who has never run before was nervous about being there without a buddy. Especially because I had run yesterday, I felt no qualms about offering to partner with her. Over the course of our run, I helped her pick a run-walk ratio, helped her slow down to a pace she could sustain, and encouraged her along the way. It was the greatest feeling of accomplishment I've felt in a long time. I explained to her I feel like a new runner each time I start over. I know that feeling of wanting to stop and being encouraged to not think of stopping as choice. I loved helping her give herself the gift of the feeling at the end of a run. To me there are few greater feelings of satisfaction. Today I may have learned that paying it forward is the greatest feeling of all.

Cancer Sucks (but love wins)

A loss of someone we love to cancer is a tragedy that bonds so many of us. Each time I face new losses, it is hard to not thinking about the deepest loss I have suffered, that of my mother. The only comfort that I can offer myself is to remember how that experience helped me to recognize the love of the community that surrounded me and the strength I had within me. The hardest period of my life was the time between when my mother got her prognosis and when she died. I spent that time reflecting around the clock about how I would go on. In that time, I joined the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society's Team in Training program for the Marine Corps Marathon, I started doing yoga, and I started attending Meeting for Worship - so many of the things that are now defining elements of my life. And the friends and colleagues who supported me through that time are inked permanently on my heart. Cancer is like the Westboro Baptist Church of diseases - it brings so many people together to stand for love in the face of ugliness. We embrace the suck.

Feminism

Him: Are you sure you don't want me to walk you home?
Me: Yeah, I'm sure.
Him: Ok, Mad Max.
Me: Yeah, I'm a feminist powerhouse.

I've actually been thinking a lot about my feminism recently because it turns out that the book that made me a vegetarian is pretty anti-feminist. It didn't occur to me in my 24-year-old iteration that sentences like "skinny=healthy and fat=unhealthy" and "don't be a p*ssy" are problematic and not just snarky. This was also a time in my life in which I rejected the idea of being a feminist. My sense of feminism was that women's rights had to be one's top priority to be called a feminist. I felt like my racial experience shaped my life experience more than my gender, so I didn't think the "feminist" label applied to me. My how times have changed!

Value Added

Everyone should have the opportunity to work at a place that enriches their life. The students, my colleagues, my role, the mission. I'm ever grateful to be in a place with such depth and dynamism. I never doubt that my life is more complete because of my job and my school. The passion of the place is palpable.

For the sake of one child

Tonight I went to a social justice event because one SR girl had agreed to go. I didn't doubt my decision for a moment. What I think is particularly special is that I don't think she doubted hers either. What I appreciated about it is that it demonstrates that social justice work is everyday work. It doesn't have to be something you organize a big group for - one person can make a difference. That is a lesson I have only come to in the past few years, and I am glad that my students are having the opportunity to understand their individual empowerment and impact earlier.

Why POCC

Some schools send anyone who wants to go to the annual National Association of Independent Schools People of Color Conference (POCC). My school is one of many that rotates faculty, staff and administrators through the conference so that more people can feel its powerful impact. While I respect both strategies, I maintain that it is important professional development opportunity for me each year. Here are my reasons:

1. Being in and advocating for marginalized groups can be exhausting. POCC is a once-a-year reminder of the fact that those of us who do this work are in good company. It also serves as a break for being the representative for the marginalized. We can finally feel a power in numbers.

2. I am reminded of my roots. I get to visit with my former classmates, teachers, colleagues. This proves especially significant in the years that I go to the conference with something weighing on my heart and/or mind. I always have a trusted team through which to crowdsource solutions.

3. I learn concrete things. I have yet to go through a year of POCC and not come away with tangible ideas to implement in the classroom and/or in co-curricular programming. Each session is designed to share best practices. There's an outstanding bookstore to boot.

4. I also have yet to go to POCC and not come away inspired to dig into the work that I do. Because the work is hard, the challenges can be discouraging. The core message of POCC each year is that the work of independent schools is worth doing. We hear from keynote speakers who are high achievers and people of color. They talk about the skills that got them to where they are and about the importance of the cultivation of those skills. They talk about the challenges of the world and the fact that quality education is the only way forward. In short, they reflect our Light back to us.

5. There is nothing more inspirational about the conference than our transformed students. Just as I do, the students also come back each year fired up and ready to go. They develop an expertise in each of the core diversity identifiers that they are eager to share. The paradigm shift that they can have in two days reminds us of the impact that we too can have on their lives. This is especially true of the final, gendered affinity session on the final day each year. I get to hear each time we get together about how much it means to black girls to have black women at their schools. Some years that is exactly the motivation I need to sign my contract for one more year.

What an important annual reminder that at the end of the day the work and the professional development are not to serve us adults, but our spectacular students.

Presenting

I do not find presenting at conferences to be fun; I find it stressful. A meaningful presentation takes both time and soul. And its success is not always predictable. However, my National Association of Independent School's People of Color Conference (POCC) presentation this year was a wonderful reminder that it can be worthwhile to present. I found it powerful to be a part of something bigger than myself that was positive and productive. I enjoyed the creative thinking that went into it and came out of it. I loved collaborating with my co-presenters and the workshop participants. It is also significant to be a contributing member of a POCC community that means so much to me year after year. A presenter is a part of the transformative fabric of the program. At the end of the day, there is no better feeling.

Advent

Three years ago I didn't know what Advent was. I knew that you could get advent calendars with treats, but I didn't know what they meant. Growing up, my AME church instilled in us that "Jesus is the reason for the season." Advent serves as that reminder. Advent, ideally, should call upon us to dig a bit deeper in our reflections of "What would Jesus do," should push us to care genuinely about who Jesus was and is to Christians and as a model for humanity. It asks us to consider how we make space for faith in our lives. I welcome the invitation.

What I Am Thankful for in 2015

- Owning my strengths, challenges, and voice.
- Operating from a place love and hope.
- SO. MUCH. LOVE in my life.
- Working with passionate students and caring colleagues.
- Meaningful media. Meaningful travel.

Finding the Balance

There is a balance to vacation. The best vacations for me involve a mix of the things I want to do and the things that I otherwise don't feel I have time to do. So today I watched tv, went to a bookstore, got my oil changed and my break light fixed, connected with someone on OKCupid, saw Hunger Games, went to happy hour, got a pedicure, had a peace and social concerns meeting, and then cleaned my apartment. That is my perfect vacation balance. Full of purpose but also joy.

Best of Azar Nafisi, Author of Reading Lolita in Tehran and Republic of Imagination

I wish she were my life coach! She makes me want to double down on everything I believe in and speak up about.

• "Hope is always defiant" 
• "We are taught that reality is static, but reality is fragile."
• "You have to keep your dignity by becoming more yourself."
• "Oppression, violence to anyone decreases my dignity. We are all implicated."
• "Like Dorothy, we go to other worlds to come back with fresh eyes."
• "American literature is about underdogs who refuse to be underdogs."
• "We watch the republican debates so we can laugh. This is no laughing matter."
• On Activism - "You complain because you care so much about the place."
• "Governments come and go, only the trace of genius remains." 
• "The Mall is the jewel on the crown of this country."
• "We are withdrawing within ourselves because we feel helpless. Instead, we should come out!"
• "If people knew about Syria, how would they vote?"
• "The great writers write about 'us.' They tell human stories." 

Positivity

I believe in the power of positivity, even when it is hard to maintain. Over and over again we hear that things don't have to be the way they are. When will we listen and take action?!

Transferred Stress

I try to be mindful to not put any co-curricular stress on students. What occurred to me today is that stress can come in a variety of forms. Perhaps I don't nag or enforce, but what about the ways that my loving expectancy can be pressure? Their avoidance of disappointing me? There is an overt, a covert, and a subtle form form of inducing stress. I want to be intentional about actively avoiding all three.

I Believe in Student Voice

Students have an idealism that I believe in. I in fact believe that retaining that youthful idealism is one of my most impactful qualities. So I see a big part of my job as encouraging student voice and action. Last week demonstrated that fact loud and clear in a way that has not been quite so front-and-center in the news in my lifetime. Here is an excerpt from an email I sent to my students:
"Here is an article about the original successful protest at Mizzou: http://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/tim-wolfe-university-missouri-president-says-hes-resigning-amid-racial-n459941

Here is an article on the solidarity being exhibited for Mizzou because of the aftermath of the successful protest: http://mic.com/articles/128316/pray-for-mizzou-starts-trending-as-school-increases-security-amid-campus-threats#.BjXsMF1cg

And here is an article on the protests happening at college campuses across the country: http://www.nytimes.com/2015/11/12/us/racial-discrimination-protests-ignite-at-colleges-across-the-us.html" 

These are important stories for students to hear: http://blogs.edweek.org/teachers/intersection-culture-and-race-in-education/2015/11/teach-your-students-about-mizzou-teach-them-to-speak-up.html. If we want a better future, we can't let the pain of our past get in the way. We need to lift up the positive examples and keep hope alive.

Arts Are for Everyone

I'm no poet, but sometimes trying our hand at the arts helps us to grow. I've recently discovered the glory of meditative coloring (great for easing me into bedtime!), and one of my students today showed me a number of her own poems and some slam poets she enjoys. It reminded me of a poem that I wrote as a way to process what was happening in America two years ago.

We are all Trayvon Martin

Vulnerable to the pain and prejudice engrained in our society

We are all the Zimmerman jurors

Forced to navigate a game we just want out of

We are all Barack Obama

Trying to make good on promises we have discovered are out of our control

But we are also all Pope Francis

With the power to shift the conversation to what matters

And we are all Mother Teresa

With the knowledge that our love can make a difference

And we are all Nelson Mandela

With the capacity to reshape everything by standing proudly in the strength of peace

We are made of joys and sorrows

We must honor both the victim and the hero within ourselves

In order to, as Gandhi asked,

Be the Change we wish to see in the world

A day in the life

Today was a typical day for the kind of loving and learning that I get to experience at work.

I walked in and a former student of mine had brought in my favorite breakfast treat for me. She had stopped by the bakery on her way to work and remembered my favorite.

My students presented thoughtful and engaging videos about non-Jewish victims of the Holocaust. They then had a meaningful discussion about why the study of those victims is important.

In advisory we had an impromptu discussion about how we can ensure that all of our religious/spiritual beliefs are honored at school. We shared our personal faith traditions.

I co-taught ninth graders a "What would you do?" diversity/social action lesson. Students were moved; there were lots of tears and little doubt that we were a part of something important.

I worked with the Pax Christi leaders on an upcoming after-school field trip and when we might have someone from my Meeting come talk about the interfaith non-profit Action in Montgomery. They picked a time for her to come in and arranged a meeting for before that to rally the troops.

I went to a solidarity session in support of schools being protested for having gay-straight alliances.

A student told me that the motto for my role could be "for students, by students, with students." She continued to make jokes about how student-centered my work is. I loved it.

I copied the readings for our next Beloved Community faculty reading and discussion group meeting.

I went to the play rehearsal because I won't be able to see any of the official shows. The girls were brilliant and hilarious, and their show made me positively joyful. I was also particularly struck because so many cast members are also important leaders in other ways at school, including several leaders within the Social Action program. I did not have those balance skills in high school.

I was copied on an email sent from one of the leaders of the student Social Action board to student leaders of various Upper School programs, inviting them to partner on a week-long programming focus in January on the justice system and its challenges. Her email was so thoughtful and polished that it easily could have been one of the many emails I get a day about social justice initiatives by non-profits. Again, I did not have those skills in high school.

I love my job.

Metaphor for Meeting for Worship

Just was we need to regularly get our teeth cleaned to keep them their best selves, Meeting does something similar for my heart. It's like a heart cleaning - getting the plaque out. Cleaning my heart of all but love to be stronger, more focused, more open. It forces me to be in a meditative state for long enough that I can go through all the thoughts in my head, put them aside, and have some quality time just focusing on my Light. The same can be true with morning meditation. There is always so much to do and think about, so it is good when I clear all of that out to focus on love and my calling (being the change I wish to see in the world). It can't happen without clear intentionality.

I am a woman phenomenally

Some days we pull together what seems impossible. Today I am channeling Maya Angelou. In the words of Beyonce: Who run the world? Girls!

Phenomenal Woman

BY MAYA ANGELOU

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.

I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size   

But when I start to tell them,

They think I’m telling lies.

I say,

It’s in the reach of my arms,

The span of my hips,   

The stride of my step,   

The curl of my lips.   

I’m a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,   

That’s me.

I walk into a room

Just as cool as you please,   

And to a man,

The fellows stand or

Fall down on their knees.   

Then they swarm around me,

A hive of honey bees.   

I say,

It’s the fire in my eyes,   

And the flash of my teeth,   

The swing in my waist,   

And the joy in my feet.   

I’m a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That’s me.

Men themselves have wondered   

What they see in me.

They try so much

But they can’t touch

My inner mystery.

When I try to show them,   

They say they still can’t see.   

I say,

It’s in the arch of my back,   

The sun of my smile,

The ride of my breasts,

The grace of my style.

I’m a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That’s me.

Now you understand

Just why my head’s not bowed.   

I don’t shout or jump about

Or have to talk real loud.   

When you see me passing,

It ought to make you proud.

I say,

It’s in the click of my heels,   

The bend of my hair,   

the palm of my hand,   

The need for my care.   

’Cause I’m a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That’s me.

Leaning in to Discomfort

Tonight I brushed my teeth with my left hand. I was directed to do so on the Health and Wellness website for my work. Apparently it strengthens some sort of neural connections. It was very hard, but a worthy challenge. I enjoy doing things that I know I'm not talented at, as it removes the pressure to be polished. No one can do everything well, so sometimes a reminder of that in a safe space is healthy. This is also why I appreciate running - I can accept that it is something that is good for me without my needing to be good at it. I've spent the past week going over "community norms" with the students. Leaning into discomfort and being "raggedy" are among them for good reason!

Update 11/8/15: Another challenge has been flossing. My dentist friend told me that if I floss and I bleed it is a sign that I need to do more flossing. It's counterintuitive, but it has proved helpful. Each day for the last week I have flossed, and each day it hurt less. The same is always true when I have a knot in my muscles. Engaging it hurts, but it is the only way to push through. Each of these is another reminder of how important it can be to lean into discomfort!

"Take Five Stay Alive"

While driving through NJ today, I saw the following sign: "'Take Five Stay Alive': 1. LEAVE EARLY, 2. BUCKLE UP, 3. DRIVE FRIENDLY, 4. AVOID DISTRACTIONS, 5. ARRIVE ALIVE." It made me reflect on what my five sustaining principles are that I need to remind myself on a daily basis (as opposed to things that I do without thinking like eating or expressing gratitude). There are many routines and values that I try to maintain, but when it comes down to it, I have had a day I am proud of when I 1. SLEEP AT LEAST SEVEN HOURS, 2. USE SILENCE TO GET IN TOUCH WITH THE LIGHT WITHIN ME, 3. READ SOMETHING THAT MAKES ME THINK, 4. WRITE SOMETHING THAT SHARES MY LIGHT WITH THE WORLD, 5. HONOR MY BODY THROUGH MOVEMENT.

Learning from Students: Embracing the Suck

Today I watched one of my advisees really struggle in a tennis match. I have never been prouder of her. She was kind and gracious in defeat, even as her opponent was a cold victor. My advisee displayed no visible or audible negative self talk. She modeled exactly the way that I hope to be when my back is against the ropes. She was playing #1 singles for the championship. She was already a winner. How often do we forget how far we've come when we're focused on where we want to go? How often do we allow the stress of that gap to pull us away from being our best selves? I am reminded by my student to be more intentional in these moments.

The Power of Travel to Unite Us

Today I listened to a talk from a Bethesda Friends Meeting attender about her work in Afghanistan. She remarked that it is hard to talk about her travels because people respond with either an admiration or a horror which do not resonate with her experience. I have felt that about my trips to Rwanda and Haiti (interestingly, although Northern Ireland has experienced a history of violence as well, that is not people's reaction when I travel there). I understand her frustration and exhaustion in answering those responses because although we love the communities that have welcomed us, it can be hard to put our transformative experiences into words. This is why it is so important for students to have opportunity to engage with communities outside of their own - when the 'other' invites you into community, you become connected. I have now traveled enough places that I know no matter what we hear about a place, there are always loving people within a community who are working hard to be the change they wish to see in the world. Sometimes it takes travel to open our minds and hearts.

What's in a Weekend?

Today was my fourth Saturday in a row of being pushed to grow. First was a Pastoral Care retreat for Bethesda Friends Meeting, next was a Grow Our Meetings workshop by Friends General Conference, then the Baltimore Yearly Meeting Interim Meeting, and today the DC Peace Team's Restorative Justice Circle training. It's been hard to give up a full day each weekend, but I wouldn't trade any of it. Each event has been an opening for the kinds of topics that I usually don't have enough time to discuss. It has been a wonderful opportunity to reflect on my priorities. While I highly value time to myself to reflect and decompress, I also recognize how special it is to be able to spend time in communities and situations in which I get to experience learning and love in equal measure.

The Evolution of My Spirituality

This is my response to my writing class prompt, "If you had told me ______ when I was 15, you could have pushed me over with a feather."

If you had told me when I was 15 that I would go on to have a high school student write about how I was her spiritual advisor, you could have pushed me over with a feather. Fifteen was the year that I stopped going to church. I didn’t feel connected to the people or the messages, and I got nothing spiritual from the experience. And although that was my tenth year at Sidwell, I also didn’t feel particularly connected to Quaker spirituality. While it was only a couple years later that Quakerism felt like my spiritual home, it wasn’t until my mother’s final months that I was ready to be “all in” and not just dabble. 

At the point that I was ready to invest, I learned that you get out of your spirituality what you put into it. Little by little "cheerfully walking over the earth answering to that of God in everyone" became second nature. I practiced first once a week in Meeting for Worship until the practice and then the routine spilled, joyously, into the rest of my life. My disposition and my connection to the spirit of love, which is how I know God, are one.

So now I feel deeply touched and moved and inspired to learn that one of my students even lightheartedly writes that she considers me her spiritual advisor, but I’m not as utterly shocked as I would have been half a lifetime ago. I make no secret of my approach to the world and my hope is that people can see that my rose-colored glasses, for better and worse, are the product of genuine love overflowing in me. I feel no need for anyone else to find inspiration in the same places that I do, but I sure do hope that they get to experience the kind of joy that fills my days.

Eff My Fears

One of the lessons we all learned from Harry Potter is that our fears lose their power when we speak them aloud. I know the same is true for me about my anxieties, insecurities, shortcomings, and mistakes. When I can own them, I regain my power. When I share them, I control them. For me it is often a matter of making the intangible tangible. Sometimes they can feel infinite in my head, but once they are on paper or spoken aloud, they are necessarily finite. And then I can start thinking about problem solving or next steps. As I learned from Friends Council Institute for Engaging Leaders in Friends Schools, we always have the power to take a step. And then reflect and take another. Soon enough their is no stopping our success.

Meditations

Today in Meeting for Worship a new meditation came to me: "Dear God, make my life a prayer." I find meditation an important part of my spirituality. Some of my other meditations are:
- "Peace. Love."
- "Breathing in, I feel love. Breathing out, I share love."
- "Breathing in, I sustain my light. Breathing out, I shine my light."
- "Peace and joy. Faith and strength. Passion and patience. Creativity and gratitude."
- "Make me a vessel . . . for your love."
- "Make me an instrument . . . of your love."
- "God is everywhere. Love and Light."
Having these phrases guide my breath and thought is a way that I feel empowered to be a contemplative in action.

Answering to That of God in Everyone

Today I heard a powerful message from Bishop Kevin Dowling, Co-President of Pax Christi International. He shared that in partnering with those in need, in order to build a foundation for sustainable change we must both share our gifts and reflect theirs back to them. What a beautiful idea - the difference we can make by shining someone's light back on them. It helps me to understand the idea of ministry of presence that I learned earlier this year. It also seems to me very similar to George Fox's idea of "walk[ing] cheerfully over the earth answering to that of God in everyone."

We're All in This Together

I am often struck by disconnect between how much I want to do and how much I am physically and mentally capable of doing. Some of my favorite moments have come when I have been reminded that instead of focusing on what I can do, it is important to think of what WE can do. In an email a few years ago, someone on one of my committees wrote, "We have many things to do and many we want to do. But we rely, as we must, on each other to see that each is tended to . . . We hold each other. We will know you are holding us and trust that you feel held in return!" That came just before I was at a War Resisters League Conference and feeling overwhelmed by how much there is standing in the way of peace, and it was so important in my being able to positively process all of what I was learning about the military- and prison-industrial complexes. Knowing that I didn't have to take it all on myself made me feel empowered to do what I can. Ken Untener stated that "We cannot do everything, and there is a sense of liberation in realizing that.  This enables us to do something, and to do it very well." How empowering - our role is to use our gifts to make the difference we can. All we can do is our best. Desmond Tutu writes, "Do your little bit of good where you are, its those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world.” May it be so. 

The Power of Unconditional Love

I'm not a wallower, but I sometimes need a cathartic moment in order to move on. It's part of my being an external processor. Today was one of those days when I just needed to own, in order to let go of, my anxieties and disappointments and obsession over my shortcomings. It is amazing that I had a safe space in which to do that. I had colleagues who met me where I was, who picked me up, and who showed me the light. Most importantly, I felt loved. I know that no matter how badly I mess up or how much I disappoint other people, I have some folks who are always going to be in my corner and will always be my cheerleaders. I think we all need those people. Those of us who do not have family in our area especially need our crafted family of friends who are willing to love our imperfect selves unconditionally. My heart is so full.

Powerful Black Women

Black women are in multiple marginalized groups, so it is amazing to have a week like the one I've just had in which the strength of black women is on display.

The week began with both news outlets and popular culture holding up Michelle Obama as a style icon ("stunning" is a word often used to describe her look, including by President Obama himself). She is gorgeous, and when her beauty is celebrated it feels like a victory for all of us. (10/16 update: Michelle Obama is far from the only important black woman at the White House: http://m.essence.com/galleries/29-powerful-black-women-calling-shots-obama-administration)

This also comes on the heels of Viola Davis, the first African American to win an Emmy for Lead Actress in Drama, proclaiming “Let me tell you something: the only thing that separates women of color from anyone else is opportunity.” Pop culture prominence comes with social power, and it is inspiring to see that power used in the service of equity.

Tonight I went to a comedy show, Blaria, tonight with Jessica Williams and Phoebe Robinson. They were hilarious and fearless as they took on topics like sex and race as they chatted casually with each other and the audience.  As they were so comfortably themselves, they modeled that strength can take the form of humor.

In another vein, this week I got to see Angela Davis and Erika Totten (leader of Black Lives Matter DMV) talk about the Black Lives Matter movement. They are both important voices willing to shake up a broken system. They both called out not only white supremacy, but also the misogyny that they heard in other voices in the room. They remind me of the sticker I have on my office door: "The real revolution will be love." They modeled assertive engagement and they made it clear that we all have a role to play.

I've grown up as a proud black woman, and still it helps to see role models who look like me and share some of my experiences. It is a good reminder of how important those same images and messages are for students, which is why schools must diversify our faculties and our curricula. And whenever anyone needs a quick lesson on powerful black women, I recommend listening to the song BO$$ by Fifth Harmony!

On Writing

When I sit down to write, I love when I am connected to the Light within me. When I feel that I am using my voice to speak Truth to Power. When I am contributing to a larger societal conversation. When I feel as though I could influence someone. I write so that the still, small voice within me might be heard by someone else and offer Light to them. I write so that I may be a voice for the voiceless. So that I am leveraging my privilege. I love it when my voice feels like it is my strength and my heart combined. 

When I sit down to write, I hate when I am lazy. Laziness is a monster with many faces. It looks like Facebook. It looks like email. It is particularly strong when it’s in the form of my work. I love my work. But I love my voice too. I hate when I write in platitudes. They are not my voice. 

I love to run because I feel no pressure to be good at it. Writing feels like something that I can be good at, so it is especially hard to take when I feel as though I’m not getting across the dynamism, the vitality, the complexity of my ideas. I feel the pressure. I think sometimes the weight of the responsibility is what crushes the bird of my voice that wants to sing. I’m reminded of Anne Lamott’s advice to write bird by bird.

Idealism

I'm an idealist; there's no way around it. And yet I just keep thinking of the Margaret Mead quote, "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has." I was at a Black Lives Matter panel today. Much of what speakers, who included Angela Davis, had to say was more radical than I feel, but I don't doubt for a second that we need the radical voices for anything to change. There is something idealistic in communism and third party politics. However, it was an important reminder to me that we ALL bring something to the table when we put our time and energy into the causes we care about. The most powerful message that I heard from the panel is that we just need to never rest on our laurels. That and don't settle - strategize!

Using My Voice

I keep a blog because I think it is important for me to use my voice for good. Even when I don't have much to say or am not feeling terribly articulate or creative, it matters to me that I prioritize my head and heart. There is something so easy about re-tweeting powerful messages (via my account @lovenonviolence), but I appreciate the opportunity to express myself  in my own words as well. I love to be a voice for my passions in person, and in this digital age it feels equally important to express myself over the "public" space of social media. So humble though my efforts may be, it is my commitment more than my product that I am aiming to nurture. The more that I practice crafting my message, the stronger that message will be!

Alignment

One lesson I have learned from my decade in the field of education is how important it is that I feel an alignment of my personal and professional lives. There are only so many hours in a day, so I want to make darn sure that I am making the most of each of them. Having work that I care about helps a great deal with that. As an educator, I feel I must put my whole self into my work in order to ensure that the students are having a transformative experience (because why work in education if you're not being transformative?!). I knew that working at a secular school was not for me because part of being fully present at work for me is having a spiritual dimension to what we do. I was a bit nervous to come to a Catholic school as a Quaker, but I was won over by Catholic Social Teaching. No one is a better model for Catholic social values than Pope Francis. He puts human dignity before all else and consistently acts in solidarity with the marginalized, even if that goes against popular Catholic opinion. So I was especially thrilled to see that he talked about the Quakers and our aligned values while he was in Philadelphia: http://www.mcall.com/news/nationworld/pennsylvania/mc-pope-independence-hall-speech-20150926-story.html. I love it when religion can bring us together instead of tear us apart!

Say Their Names

I posted last month about my love of the song "Hell You Talmbout" and its refrain of "say his/her name!" In order to prevent tragedies, victims cannot go nameless. Saying names and sharing narratives turns statistics into stories, and that is how we reach hearts.

But there is another kind of name that has been on my mind today. On Sunday for my brother's birthday I will run the Tunnel to Tower 5k. I was explaining to a colleague that it is in honor of a firefighter who lost his life while going above and beyond on 9/11. She asked what his name was and I had no idea. It was a good reminder of how much easier it can be to know a name for who and what society considers to be dangerous than to name those who stand up for what is beautiful and true. Stephen Siller is the hero in whose honor I run on Sunday. In the future I will try to be more intentional about spreading the light of those who act from a place of love and make the world a better place.

Yesterday Pope Francis held up the models of Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King Jr., Dorothy Day, and Thomas Merton as such examples. True to form, he held up positive models rather than focusing on what not to do. May their strength and peace be a model for us all.

Feedback

I have gotten more feedback on character traits to work on in the past week than I had in my first two years in this job. Between my mindfulness work and the school environment, I have managed not to obsess, but to reflect in a way that is healthy and ends with a follow-up plan. The key is the trust that is present in the school. I know that everyone is acting with love in her heart and the best interests of students on her mind whenever applicable. It is a wonderful reminder that we are all such different people and it is important to 'see' each other and treat each person as a unique manifestation of God's Love. Each piece of feedback is also an invitation to grow personally and/or professionally.

Peacebuilding

Of my many identities, I think that my identity as a peacemaker may be one of the ones of which I am most proud, as exemplified earlier this year when the Social Action leaders had to identify a peacebuilder they admired and some started talking about me and I nearly lost it. I take my peacebuilding philosophy seriously. I even read and loved the book Love Your Enemies because I consider bringing peace to even my most challenging relationships to be a part of my living my life with integrity. I believe that we can't chose the moments that we live a life of peace, but we must reflect peace in all we do. Our internal peace through work like mindfulness and meditation allow us to engage in all situations with more peace in our spirits. And peace is contagious!

North Star

Today I was in a board meeting for a school and the Head of School asked, "What is our north star? For what do we serve as the north star?" I found those questions stunning. I think often of sustaining and shining my inner light, but the idea of a north star pushes the idea of light even further. It is a mash-up of the spiritual concept of Light with Jim Collins' hedgehog concept. Be the best you that you can be and let that be a beacon for others. Certainly Pope Francis does that for peace and justice. I decided in that moment that the north star that I follow is walking cheerfully over the earth answering to that of God in everyone. The north star that I want to represent is integrity. It seems as though having an intentionality, or at least awareness, around our Light can only help it to shine brighter.

Learning from Students: Love and Service

Anyone who works with young people know that they have a tendency to open up our understandings about the world. That happened to me today at our end of retreat mass. The students who were in charge of the “call to Prayer” put the word “service” or “love” on each person’s hand as they walked in. The students then had us hold hands with someone who had the other word, providing a lesson about how service and love are inextricably linked. It was crystal clear through that visual that the two provide a chain - service should come from a place of love AND bring more love into the world. That shared belief is what unites my Quaker faith with my Catholic school. 

Curation

I think I'm a pretty good curator. I curate poetry, inspirational notes, and my own life in the form of journals. Even tweeting can be a form of curation. Some would call it hoarding, and I couldn't hold it against them. However, sometimes my inspiration comes from an older version of me as a result of this curation. Sometimes people make fun of the curation we all do on social media, but my philosophy is that there is little downside to having a record of our best moments and memories. Perhaps they can help us to be our best selves.

The Gift of Time

I read this article today, "Resolved: Writing is a job" by Ann Pratchett, and I felt both vindicated and inspired. It is hard to develop a discipline around time. I am addicted to email, and that sucks up many hours of every day. I have read all the articles about how we're most effective when we only check our email two to three times a day (I just spent five minutes writing this sentence because I checked my email in the middle of it!). But to be fully our best selves, we need to operate not out of habit, but out of what we have determined is our personal best practice best on our priorities based on our values. I'm currently reading the book The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg, which makes it clear that we are slaves to our habits until we actively take control of them. That is exactly what Ann Pratchett did, and that is what I plan to make the project of my fall. Time is a gift that I seek to squander no more!

Authenticity

Two weeks ago my best friend got married in a what can only be described as a social justice wedding ceremony. I hope they publish their vows so that others can learn just how deeply a wedding can reflect a couple. I was telling my friend that it reminded me of a Sonya Tayeh dance - so authentic that it could never be confused for anyone else’s. What a good reminder of how powerful being our authentic selves can be!

On 9/11

On 9/11 I had just started at Wellesley. It was our second week of class. I had come out of a Classical Mythology class when a woman I had done service week the week before said to me, “A bomb just went off at the White House. People you know are definitely dead.” Much of my life is based around negative models, and she is one of them. I am an educator now and I would NEVER put my anxieties onto a student like that. It was the opposite of how I see my teaching; it was wholly selfish. 

I also remember feeling nervous for Muslims. I knew they would be blamed for what happened and I knew that wasn’t fair. I knew that America was not blameless and that our anger would only feed into cycles of violence. So much of my life now is built around my being an activist, but it wasn’t then. I was just a person with a big heart who knew that there was a wrong side of history that I didn’t want to be on. 

On this day of tragedy and remembrance, I hold in my heart all those who suffered and continue to suffer. I also recommit myself to being a part of the solution, to doing my part to make the world a better place. I reflect on the query hanging outside Friends Meeting of Washington - how can my life remove the causes for war? - with the aspiration that my life speak the answer.

The Power of Love

I had a very special summer. I traveled more than I ever had before and felt such strong love everywhere that I went. It was a reminder that we carry love with us wherever we go and that that love is powerful. In Tanzania, it was a contagious love of life. In Rwanda it meant a dedication to unity that would prevent genocide. In Boston and Philadelphia my spirit was renewed through the love I share with my friends. At Tranquil Space, through yoga, I connected to both a love of my body and to a love of all beings.  In Seattle I got to witness the lifelong commitment between my best friend and the love of her life. In Frostburg it was a renewed commitment to my faith and values. In Martha's Vineyard and New York it was the sustaining love of family. Whatever its shape, I aim to maintain this love in all I do this year. SR is an easy place to build on the summer's momentum because love is talked about openly and a major foundation to all that we do. I can't wait for another year of infusing love into my class and the social awareness and action we engage in at school!

Books in Community

I love a good book club. I've done one via email (The Aeneid), one via Facebook (Between the World and Me), some formal for work, and many casual with friends. As someone who is relational, having someone to share the reading experience with makes it more fun for me. As someone who loves to process aloud, book clubs offer me the most lasting impressions of books. I'm grateful that I get to be involved with book clubs for work, and I'm hoping that my summer read (The Price of Inequality) is useful throughout the year!

Update 9/23: While at an Ed Sheeran concert tonight, I was reminded of how powerful music can be in community. Music can feel like it is touching my soul. When that happens it is nice to experience that moment of clarity when there are others around, similar to Meeting for Worship.

Music of a Movement

Yesterday my friend Dwight, a musician himself (http://www.muchcitylove.com), commented that the thing about music is that it gets in your bones. I knew he was right because I had just heard Janelle Monae and Wondaland's song "Hell You Talmbout" (www.youtube.com/watch?v=SttWb9mDp3Q), which had made me sob. It is a song that is intentionally a conversation starter and a reminder of why we are fighting for the Black Lives Matter cause ever harder as the battle feels ever more uphill.  There are precious lives at stake and she names some of those that have been lost. I'm also grateful for songs like "Glory" (www.youtube.com/watch?v=HUZOKvYcx_o) that brought the conversation about Ferguson into the mainstream. It's powerful message connecting the Civil Rights Movement to current events that had enough of an impact on our society to win an Academy Award. Seamus Heaney has a great stanza in The Cure at Troy: 

"History says, don't hope
On this side of the grave.
But then, once in a lifetime
The longed-for tidal wave
Of justice can rise up,
And hope and history rhyme."

Often it is the music of the movement that can make the rhyme come alive.

In the Body of the World

I love Eve Ensler. I love the Vagina Monologues because they make me feel empowered as a woman. In that same vein, I also love a book that she wrote more recently, In the Body of the World, which is about her work in the Congo, her experience with ovarian cancer and the connection between them. It is a moving account of experiences that serve as important reminders about what matters most in life. Here were some of my favorite quotes:

"Doctors never believe how simple it is to give patients dignity It takes a sentence. It takes a short walk around a table" (25). I think this is true for more than doctors alone!

"Maybe loves comes to some of us differently. Maybe we love our women friends as deeply or humanity as deeply" (167). A good reminder that society can't dictate how we feel love in our lives.

"... if the superpowers were able to send militia proxies to do their bidding and steal the Congo's minerals, if the international community was able to turn a blind eye for thirteen years and eight million people were dead and hundreds of thousands of women raped and tortured and babies were cooked in pots, then all of us, every single one of us, was complicit and were bankrupt and hopeless" (193) A good reminder that silence is support for the oppressors.

"The only salvation is kindness. The only way out is care." (214)

And the very end of the book states: "Build the circles. Listen to the voice inside. And when they come and say, 'This is the one way only some can profit, we need the oil, we need the drilling, the reactors, the tar sands, the fracking, the contain, the coal,' stay tight in your circle. Dance in the circles. Sing in the circles. Join arms in the circles. Surrender your comfort. We must be willing to go to the distance. We must be willing to leave the kingdom and surrender the treasures. We are the people of the second wind. We who have been undermined, reduced, and minimized, we know who we are. Let us be taken. Let us turn our pain to power, our victimhood to fire, our self-hatred to action, our self-obsession to service, to fire, to wind. Wind. Wind. Be transparent as wind, be as possible and relentless and dangerous, be what moves things forward without needing to leave a mark, be part of this collection of molecules that begins somewhere unknown and can't help be keep rising. Rising. Rising. Rising." (216)

#FergusonTaughtMe

It is a year since Michael Brown died. It has been a painful and disappointing year in the United States as issues of race and justice have been put under a spotlight. We have often reassured ourselves that it is not more dangerous to be black now than in the past, we just hear more about the tragedies now because the media knows that people are interested. We have raised our collective voices and spoken up that Black Lives Matter. And the "we" is beautifully broad. The "we" at the National Rally for Justice in December included many of my friends and many of my students. The tangible changes are slow, but the conversations are important. History taught us if we continue to speak Truth to Power, these slow changes can build over time. When we refuse to accept things the way they are, we can be a part of forcing them to evolve. Evolution or revolution. I believe in that old protest chant - the people united can never be defeated!

A Lesson from the Universe

I got an important lesson from the universe this week. I was headed toward a Quaker retreat when I was pulled over and given a ticket for speeding. How symbolic of how desperately I needed to take the pause of retreat, to slow down. How often do I create a race unnecessarily? How much more often could I be intentional about taking a deep breath and lowering my shoulders? On the way home, as I got closer to DC, everyone around me was driving significantly faster than I had been when I got the ticket. It was an addendum to my lesson - I am the way I am because of my environment. If I want to make different choices about the speed of my life, I need to do so strategically. Mindfulness is central to my growth.

Meditations on Belief

Today I finished reading My Bright Abyss: Meditation of a Modern Believer by Christian Wiman, and the sentiments of this book will be with me for a long time. Wiman paints beautiful indelible images with his words. He helps me to reflect on what my faith means to me and why it matters.  He also offers permission to understand and express faith in nontraditional terms. I believe in God as the spirit of love in the world, which not everyone feels comfortable with, so the sense I empathy that I felt in this book had real power.  Here are some of my favorite quotes:

"faith in God is, in the deepest sense, faith in life" (8)
"as long as we can live in this sacred space of receiving and releasing, and can learn to speak and be love's fluency, then the greater love that is God brings a continuous and enlarging air into our existence."(24)
"faith in life [is] some tender and terrible energy that is, for those with the eyes to see it, love." (36)
"Turning inward turned me outward too, to a world made more radiant by my ability to believe in it." (67)
"If two people meet and disagree fiercely about theological matters but agree, silently or otherwise, that God's love creates and sustains human love...then even out of what seems great friction there may emerge a peace that... enters and nourishes one's notion of, and relationship with, God." (71)
"Perhaps we are the weak ones, and God comes to us inwardly only because we have failed to perceive him in the crying child, in the nail driven cleanly into the wood, in the ordinary dawn sun that merely to see clearly is sufficient prayer and praise." (75)
"silence is the language of faith. Action - be it church or charity, politics or poetry - is the translation." (107)
"'Go forth and spread the gospel by every means possible,' said Saint Francis to his followers. 'If necessary, use words.'" (108)
"hope, as Vaclav Havel has said, is a condition of your should, not a response to the circumstances in which you find yourself." (166)

Service Learning

Today I focused at work on service learning - thinking about what we do and how we do it.  A few years ago, I wrote an article about how service learning is a form of activism for teachers. I wrote it as an attempt to reconcile my passion for activism with my love for the work that I do as a teacher. Upon reflection, I realized that the two were not mutually exclusive, but in fact were important complements to each other. I have never looked back.

Recognizing Teacher Activism

Continuing revelation invites us to remain open to looking at the same things in new ways.  I recently experienced the magic of continuing revelation when I heard a speech that sparked my realization that I am a teacher activist. The speech was by philanthropist and activist Larry Brilliant, who said that Dr. Martin Luther King’s message of the arc of the moral universe bending toward justice can only prove true if everyone who cares about social justice enthusiastically serves as an activist struggling on its behalf.  At first I felt guilty because I do not have any role labeled “activism” in my life, but then I thought back to my experience in the Friends Council on Education’s Institute for Engaging Leadership, the major lesson of which for me was that one’s impact is not dependent on one’s title.  In the program we engaged in action research projects in which each month we were expected to take an action step within our school and then reflect on that action and how it could lead to our next step. The confidence I gained from the power of these small yet continual shifts in the direction of progress is a spirit that I have since tried to instill in my students.  In a true Quaker sense of speaking truth to power, I encourage students to not accept the world as it is, but to continually assess how they might make it better. After Dr. Brilliant’s talk I came to realize that my activism doesn’t have to take the familiar form of protests and petitions, but as a teacher activist I am contributing to bending that arc toward justice by sowing the seeds of action in students.  My goal as a teacher activist is to help my students discover their own power and passion as activists.

My activism begins with my belief in the “real world” importance of the material I teach.  Within my first year of becoming a history teacher, I understood that history has a power to teach us about the present and help us to shape the future.  The turning point for me was over spring break of 2008 when Barack Obama delivered his “More Perfect Union” speech just as my class was about to study the American Revolution.  I was able to see the connection between the values that our country was founded on and the challenges we were facing at the time.  It was clear that the connections that Obama was making between the past and the present were important for students to be able to see and to create for themselves.  Since then my courses have consistently presented historical material in a context of engagement with the modern world.  I encourage students to introduce current events into our historical conversations and I regularly bring in articles or topics for students to discuss to aid in cementing those connections.  I use guiding questions for my courses that ask students to consider how societies are best able function in ways that reflect peace, justice and equality (and what leads societies away from those values), so that students feel empowered to use the history they study to analyze the world today.  One element of my activism is using the history I teach to help students understand the power of individuals in the context of the modern world.  

Once we have established that understanding, I try to usher my students toward recognizing their own role in changing the world for the better.  To do this, I ask students to work on real life applications of the academic material.  My first such endeavor was a club working against the Darfur genocide, whose creation I encouraged as a project for freshmen boys whose energy needed some redirection.  That program was as important for the ways that it had an impact on them as it was for the money they raised for Darfur.  When I taught Latin American History, my students’ final project was crafting their own version of public service announcements based on what they had learned over the course of the year.  This project offered students an opportunity for activism, and the videos ranged from one geared toward consumer education that included a group of my students holding up signs at a grocery for people not to buy bananas from companies known to use child labor, to one that offered facts about different Latin American presidential candidates for voter education, to one made for our school administrators about the importance of Latin American history.  Most recently, my activism has been in the form of service learning projects.  Last year my Global Studies classes, which had the theme of being the change one wishes to see in the world, had global service learning group projects, for which students helped organizations through volunteering after school or over weekends, and then writing a paper on what they learned about a region of the world through their service and how they could continue to have an impact.  Students were able to more deeply connect to the global regions they were studying while recognizing how they could make a difference.  This work has been an important element of my activism – helping students move from the theoretical to the practical.  

I have always seen teaching as my way of making a difference in the world.  What I now understand is that this is a form of activism.  I am not just teaching students about history, but I am seeking to empower my students to understand historical and societal patterns well enough to be comfortable visualizing their roles in working toward local and global solutions.  My activism involves introducing my students to the voice and capacity that they each have within themselves. I accomplish that by meeting my students where they are - answering to that of God in each of them and encouraging them to use their unique gifts in the service of others. And just as the Institute of Engaging Leadership at Friends Schools allowed me to be a pebble for change with ripple effects to my students, my hope is that my students will each become his or her own pebble, while cyclically pairing reflection and action.  What I have come to believe (and share with my students) is that we should not judge ourselves on how big our sphere of influence is, but rather on what we do with it.  We each have a calling; we need only be open to it and act on it.  As teachers, we are in a position to not only be actors for our own passions, but also to inspire passion in the next generation in the hope that they too will pay it forward.

Since claiming my place as a teacher activist, I have embraced a new role as Social Action Director at my school.  I am still doing the same work in my classroom, but I also get to support students all forms of their activism and support teachers in bringing service learning and social action into the classroom.  As I work with teachers, I can speak not only to my own experiences, but also introduce them to the community and tradition of teacher activism that I have discovered.  One friend invites representatives from organizations that work with Africa to her African history classes’ presentations on potential solutions to societal challenges faced in Africa (such as AIDS), and the organizations then dialogue with the students, helping them to understand the realities of the material they are engaging with in class.  Another friend has her English class work on resumes for people in homeless shelters trying to find employment as a part of her persuasive writing unit.  My friends in science have taken their students to study and work toward solutions in particularly polluted parts of our area, and a friend in math has encouraged her students to focus their statistics projects on areas of social concern in which their results can make a difference.  Teacher activism doesn’t even have to be subject specific – one friend has Social Action Mondays each week in her class, in which the class decides on a relevant social action step they can take that week (like not buying certain products or performing certain acts of kindness), which they then reflect on each Friday. I appreciate being able to hold up these examples for my colleagues, illustrating that teacher activism takes many forms.  My new role empowers me to help others to claim their place as teacher activists.  We can all take pride in our work of bending the moral arc of the universe toward justice in and out of our classrooms.

Solidarity

I get by with a little help from my friends. Literally. Whether it is folks working to get me my cell phone that I left somewhere (again today!), someone offering me a drink or shoulder when I'm stressed or traumatized, or a mentor or friend offering me whatever support or guidance I need to grow, I have become the person I am today because of a positivity brilliant network that surrounds me. That is why I feel called to support others whenever and however I can. To me, that is the beauty of the world: We are all stronger together. The moments when that sentiment shines most brightly are the moments when I feel most inspired. I was gifted by two strong examples from Facebook in the past day. First, one from the Civil Rights Movement:

and then one from our modern Civil Rights Movement (https://instagram.com/p/5nnD6PrBi_/?taken-by=workingfamilies).  Mother Teresa said that, "If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other." What I try to offer the world is an intentionality about remembering.

Sleep!

I did a guided meditation today to try to figure out why I keep forgetting things. While I had many deep thoughts about my work-life balance, my greatest takeaway was that I need sleep. I often imagine that I can get by with less sleep than science tells me, but it never works out. I need at least 7 hours for my brain to allow me to be my best self. And because I need to intellectualize things to believe them, I studied the science again to convince myself:
- National Geographic "Sleepless in America": http://www.aasmnet.org/articles.aspx?id=5233 and http://channel.nationalgeographic.com/sleepless-in-america/episodes/sleepless-in-america/

- Atlantic article on newest sleep recommendations: http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2015/02/how-much-sleep-is-normal/385075/

- Radiolab podcast on sleep: http://www.radiolab.org/story/91528-sleep/

Update 9/19: I got 12 hours of sleep last night. I did not know previously that that much sleep was even possible. It was catalyzed both by the senior retreat and by my body fighting off illness. What strikes me, though, is the extent to which I am in the driver's seat of my sleep. I have to give my sleep permission; I could have easily awoken first thing if I had let myself. The key is intentionality. I know that I feel better when I get sleep. And so I am going to figure out a way to get the sleep I need consistently. Last night is continued proof that I need it!